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Happy Birthday Bridezilla
Welcome ducklings to our brand-new Bridezilla blog, created today to commemorate the many misunderstood brides in our midst, those diligent lasses who have merely been attentive to detail and gotten a bad rap in the process! Don't worry morsels, Miss B, the bridezilla of all bridezillas, is here to clear your newly-hyphenated name! Read on for advice, video, articles and more on all things bridezilla.
Top Ten Things that Turn Women into Bridezilla
Things that make us Bridezilla against our will
1) Our younger sisters announcing their pregnancies at our engagement parties and stealing our thunder.
2) Wedding Barbie. If we didn't have this little tulle-swathed blonde trollop thrust into our arms at the tender age of three when we could barely chew solid foods, maybe we wouldn't be so convinced that such perfection is the norm-nor would we have started planning our wedding before we gained basic motor skills.
Continue Reading Top Ten Things that Turn Women into Bridezilla »Bridezilla Beware: 5 Hidden Factors That Ruin a Wedding
By now, we all know a few infamously bad things that can ruin a wedding: a scheming best friend, a groom with cold feet, a pair of wedding crashers canoodling with the bridesmaids. But there are a few more subtle factors that can ruin a wedding in a way that is more catastrophic than comedic. Luckily, it doesn't take the running length of a movie to figure out how to avoid them.
Continue Reading Bridezilla Beware: 5 Hidden Factors That Ruin a Wedding »Bridezilla Beware:The 8 Sneakiest Wedding Scams You'd Never Suspect
Bridezillas, here are some truly insidious wedding rip-offs, culled from a canniest observer, "The Bridal Bargains Book". You will not believe these devious tactics and hidden costs revealed here, worse than a telemarketer's offer and a time share scam put together. Read on to make sure you are not taken in by this so-wretched wedding fraud.
Continue Reading Bridezilla Beware:The 8 Sneakiest Wedding Scams You'd Never Suspect »Taming Bridezilla: Wedding Etiquette Refresher
Wedding Etiquette Refresher: 5 Often-Overlooked Points
Wedding Season is in the air, as you may have realized from all those little white invitations appearing in your mailbox. While you may not be able to believe it's that time again, the Great White Wave is indeed upon us. So there's no time like the present to brush up on wedding etiquette.
What's that, you may say? Well, despite our increasingly lax modern culture, wedding etiquette is defined as the few remaining traditions and customs we employ to show we are still civilized society - at least as long as we are wearing formalwear and grazing off an open bar. In an era of destination weddings and leopard-print bridesmaid gifts, here are the few hallowed wedding rituals that remain timeless.
Continue Reading Taming Bridezilla: Wedding Etiquette Refresher »Guestzilla Expose: Courtesy of Bridezilla
Mocked by society. Demonized by reality television. Sued by our wedding planners as though we were Naomi Campbell. We bridezillas have had it rough, and it's time set the record straight by pointing our perfectly manicured fingers at the real villains, the people who drove us to our dreaded fate: the guestzillas.
While brides are constantly harangued in the media for bad behavior, literally no attention is given to the unsightly conduct of wedding guests who drive brides over the bridezilla brink. And when dark documentary-cum-wedding guest exposes such as "Wedding Crashers" come out, idiot audiences actually mistake them for a light summer comedies. Well no longer! Bad guests are going to get their due. Here are a just a few crowning atrocities that can earn you the guestzilla reputation.
Continue Reading Guestzilla Expose: Courtesy of Bridezilla »Bridezilla Hall of Fame: The Most Misunderstood Brides of All Time
Bridezilla Badges: A Bachelorette Party Craft!
Tired of penis necklaces, cheap veils and tacky t-shirts alerting other bar patrons to your bridal party? Try creating these unique badges that not only let bartenders know that body shots are in order, but are a unique twist on your last night out as a single gal.
Continue Reading Bridezilla Badges: A Bachelorette Party Craft! »Losing your Bridezilla Virginity: Surviving One's First Encounter
Just because we've been there doesn't mean we don't sympathize with women that haven't! Here are a few words of wisdom for your friends and family to help them survive their first Bridezilla encounter, and live to tell about it (anonymously of course!).
1. It'll all be over soon. Well, soon being relative to when the wedding is. Well, they only get one wedding, so it's not like you'll have to live through it again.
2. It'll be you someday. If they're the first of your friends to get married, they may well not understand what it's like. That's okay. Someday, they might. If they're guys that's probably not true, but maybe they'll have a bridezilla of their own. Revel in the inner peace granted by knowing that while you may not understand their freakish bridezilla behavior now, someday demanding hand-shellacked napkins will seem personally sensible.
Continue Reading Losing your Bridezilla Virginity: Surviving One's First Encounter »A Grumpy Groom sounds off on Bridezilla Syndrome
In America, marriage is taken for granted as something that you just "do". You leave college, get married and start a family.
We see the same scene in movie after movie. Family seated in rows with an aisle splitting the bride and the groom's sides. A pedestal at the front with some sort of priest or pastor, and then the wedding march plays. Till death do you part, you may kiss the bride, etc. Rice throwing and running to a limo with cans tied to it. Why? What does it mean?
Continue Reading A Grumpy Groom sounds off on Bridezilla Syndrome »Inducing "I Do": A Machiavellian Guide to Marriage
Faking a pregnancy is so 1990's! If you want to get engaged, there are plenty of simple ways to wrangle a proposal, and none of them involve a pink colored pencil or forging your physician's signature! Indeed, by applying the Machiavellian "ends justify the means" mindset to your marriage proposal, it is much easier to achieve said marriage proposal in a timely and pleasing fashion.
After all, once you are happily married and living in a suburban mansion with a Suburban parked in the garage and a bunch of rose-cheeked rugrats hanging off your every appendage, you won't waste time quibbling over mere marriage proposal regulations. Bridezillas know when it comes to life perspectives, it is the outcome that counts, not the minor machinations that occur along the way!
Continue Reading Inducing "I Do": A Machiavellian Guide to Marriage »Bridezilla Breathalizer: Best Bachelorette Party Favor Ever
Make bellinis, not bail! This ingenious combination key chain breathalizer and parking meter timer is the ultimate bachelorette party accessory! Swarovski- encrusted bridal propaganda and phallic outerwear are fun, but this accessory just debuted as the new bachelorette party essential. With this clever device alerting you when its time to feed the meter, you and your girls can get tanked without getting towed (a major moodkiller) while the breathalizer component ensures you are sober enough that you won't have to "team drive" home. Now when you hear the sirens, you'll know it's just the strippers arriving!
Bridezilla on Monster-in-Law Island: A Guide To Surviving Your Future Husband's Family
1. Remember, he was theirs first: Sure, you've had him in your hot little hands ever since grade school/high school/college/that time you met him at the bar, but they've had him a lot longer. They're going to feel possessive and protective and other annoying "p" words, and will probably be hugely obnoxious about it. Don't stand for it! Make it clear who the new boss is - he was theirs before, but he's yours now and forever.
2. If the 'zilla-in-laws refuse to get it, try to keep in mind that you all have at least one thing in common: a great deal of love for the man you're going to marry. After those five seconds have passed, think about the things you don't have in common, like the fact that you're being perfectly rational and they're being unnecessarily annoying. Sure, they may be able to exert their evil in-law influence and make the two of you sleep in separate beds, but soon you'll have a house of your own and you can make the in-laws take separate rooms, or even the couch.
Continue Reading Bridezilla on Monster-in-Law Island: A Guide To Surviving Your Future Husband's Family »April 2007 is the next archive.
