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« November 2008 | Main | January 2009 »
Worst Bridezilla Tantrum Caught on Tape: Shanteca, the Thumb Sucker
Typically, we take a parental approach to the bridezilla tantrum: ignore, ignore, ignore. Despite popular belief, our precise bridezilla definition does not include childish outbursts. But once in a rare while, there's a bridezilla tantrum too good not to mention. As seen in the snippet below, our favorite new bridezilla: Shanteca, the thumb-sucking bride.
We don't even like to see smoking brides, gum-chewing brides, or inebriated brides - thumb-sucking brides has to be a new low. First, Shanteca throws a hissy fit when one of her bridesmaids dyes their hair and forgets to get the bride's permission - somewhat understandable. But her behavior takes an unseemly turn when she starts sucking her thumb after an argument with Michael (soon-to-be Mr. Thumbsucker).
So, Freudzillas, is this gross oral fixation normal or not? According to Thumb Sucking Adults (yes, there is a support group) many adults suck their thumbs, including celebrities Courtney Love, Madonna, and even Twiggy. Ostensibly, thumb sucking is nothing more than stress release. But no bridezilla here will ever resort to such uncouth, stress-reducing measures - a cold cocktail and bath will do. Should our Thumbelina bride get help or is this a normal reaction to stress? Vote below!
From the Catwalk to Bridezilla's Closet: Guilt Free Holiday Glamour
Need glamorous garb for that holiday soiree? Don't show up in the same boring black cocktail dress. Get your fashions from across the pond. Catwalk to Closet, a London-based boutique let us in on a secret (sshhh): 20% off. Just in time for the holiday season. The site specializes in designer clothes and accessories at sample prices. Designers like Chloe, Marc Jacobs, and Vera Wang. See the full list of designers.
Use the coupon code: guiltfree at checkout and receive 20% off until December 12. A deal too good for us not to bequeath to fellow shopping-obsessed bridezillas.
Catwalk Closet also has a major discount on a must-have bridezilla accessory - giant sunglasses! Bridezillas who sign up free for the Catwalktocloset.com members' club get a pair of $180 USD (120) Bruce Oldfield sunglasses for just $38 (10). A major markdown and all you have to do is sign up for an e-mail newsletter. Keep them (seriously tempting) or give them away as a present. Just don't tell anyone about the discount - it tends to take away from the whole luxe Bruce Oldfield vibe.
All Bridezilla Wants for Christmas: Stocking Stuffers and Sweet Surprises
All bridezilla wants for Christmas? Well, we have our two-front teeth (knock on wood). But nothing thaws our icy 'zilla hearts faster than a stocking stuffed full of goodies. Stockings bring back the magic of Christmas morning. We suggest you put Oprah's list of favorite (expensive) things straight into the yule log fire. These bridezilla tested and approved items make fabulous stocking stuffers for every lady on your list - guaranteed.
Soak Wash: Dainties Hung on the Shower Rod with Care
Soak wash is gentle shampoo for delicate fabrics. When we first saw soak, we peered at the bright bottle with the same skepticism we typically reserve for events like ... Heidi and Spencer's marriage. Laundry is so not our thing. Not even the promise of bubbles could cure our disdain for color coding, matching socks, and the ultimate evil: hand - washing.
Or so we thought. With soak, a gentle and rinse-free wash, you can hand wash dainties and fine fibers in a matter of minutes. No rinse-repeat, rinse-repeat, give-up-flustered-because-there-are-still-bubbles cycle. Our delicate bras got a bath in soak and came out smelling like "the scent of celebration." Celebration indeed: Soak didn't convert us to a laundry lover for life (an impossible feat), but it got everything squeaky clean in under 20 minutes. Bridezilla bonus tip: Every lady could use a bottle of this stuff. Especially after shopping the upcoming Victoria's Secret Annual Sale. Her underthings will last longer and she can try it out on her softest sweaters and quilts.
Bridezilla Raises the Bar: Super Soaps, Sponges, and Exfoliators
When wintertime arrives in full flurry, most of us could use a little exfoliation. Dry, crackly skin and chapped lips take the hot kiss out of New Year's Eve. With the Sisal soap bag from Eden Home and the Milled Shea Butter Soap, her skin can be soft as the New Years baby's butt (sorry, couldn't resist). When bath time is over, drop the soap in and pull the cords for easy soap storage.The exfoliator doubles as a soap holder, so she'll never have to fish that sliver of soap out of the drain again.
We're crazy about Sea Wool sponges. The evil economy slashed our spa budget in half. No manis, no pedis, and definitely no seaweed wraps of any kind. Really, we're fine (sniffle). This sea wool sponge reminds us of the spa every morning. It's hypo-allergenic and soft as silk against our skin. Bridezilla bonus tip: When it comes to stocking surprises, think outside those scented soaps and lotions from Bath and Body. Like anyone needs more of those. Trust us, she'd rather lather in luxury with a sea wool sponge.
Read on for more stocking stuffers after the break!
New Bridal Guide Save-the-Date Widget Books for You!
Save-the-Date Widget provided by Bridal Guide
Ooooh,aaah! For once, Bridezilla's avatar does her justice! Ahem. Additionally, you should check out this fun save-the-date widget from Bridal Guide. This widget works exactly like traditional snail mail save-the-dates, except awesome-er. For example, after "opening" this groovy customized save-the-date, all guestzillas have to do is click "add to my calendar" and their calendars will automatically update with the date of your wedding. It's set up to work on pretty much any calendar system including Ical, Google Calendar, and Facebook. Pretty cool huh? Plus, this will aid infinitely with the age-old problem of getting guests to RSVP.
This is one of the more unique widgets we've seen in a while, not only in concept, but in customization options. The fun comes when you get to pick your hairstyle, your eye color, and your haircolor, and then do the same for your groom! The result is something much more special and useful than your average countdown clock...and of course, we can't resist anything that comes with a tiara!
Spencer Pratt Awarded Bridezilla of the Year
It's not quite New Years, but few bridezillas could top Spencer Pratt, so we're giving him the Bridezilla of the Year Award. This year's tiara trophy goes to the most manipulative, smarmiest, and most in need of a beat down bridezilla. From putting the kibosh on Heidi's fairytale wedding fantasy to booting his future sister-in-law out into the cold (ok...so it's California) to trying to destroy Lauren Conrad with sex tape rumors, Pratt's brazen behavior makes him a certified bridezilla.
First Comes Love, Then Comes...Marriage?
In the Hill's peak, Pratt took the couple's already courtship to a new disgusting level and proposed. It was a cheesy, on-camera sunset proposal. Has he ever done anything off camera? He used every cliche in the proposal manual except "you complete me." She slipped the ring on her finger because he didn't know which hand to put it on. And... Spiedi was born! Part super villain. Part pseudo-celebrity. All Hollywood.Pratt "married" his Barbie bride, on the beach Thanksgiving weekend in Cabbo, no guests aloud. Only enough paparazzi to make sure the tabloids could catch a whiff of this train wreck. Pratt and Montag insist the nuptials were purely spontaneous. "If I had planned it, I think I would've stepped up my ring game a little bit," he allegedly told Ryan Seacrest. Except ... because of license issues they aren't legally married. They plan to legalize it courthouse style in an upcoming episode of The Hills. Whether you call it a spiritual commitment ceremony, or a Pratt publicity stunt, he's still the Bridezilla of the Year. We're not revoking his title. Bridezilla bonus tip: always check the state's marriage license requirements before you elope.
Pratt's Mysterious Milk Mustache
He has mysterious, frosty white facial hair that defies natural law. Exhibit A: he's blonde. Exhibit B: his facial hair is snowy white. Conclusion: he must be Satan. It's like a milk mustache gone sour. Shave it Spencer. And for the love of zilla never let it grow back. Forget facial hair - go bare until those golden locks turn frosty white.
Bridezilla's Favorite Prattisms
About Montag's musical flop: "Madonna, eat your heart out, Britney Spears, eat your heart out. I would say we have diamond records coming - they're gonna sell 10-million plus." Bridezilla's take: We didn't know they still made records. Let alone out of diamonds. Mental note: How can we get our mitts on a diamond record?"I apologize for getting caught up in trash talking, but she brought up an emotional subject when she mentioned the soccer stuff...I'm secretly jealous of her. I want my face on a lunchbox, too." Bridezilla's take: Maybe if you didn't have a bi-color beard your face would be on a lunchbox. Ever think of that?
Well, Spencer congratulations, you finally won an award. It might not be a diamond record but you're the bridezilla of the year. How does it feel?
November 2008 is the previous archive.
January 2009 is the next archive.
