Guest Post: Always a Bridesmaid Never a Bride

Posted by on 12 Sep, 2012

How To Handle It When All Your Friends Are Getting Married.

If you’re single, you might experience conflicting emotions when a friend tells you that she got engaged last night, or when you log into your Facebook page only to see a photo of your best friend from fourth grade holding up her hand with a caption reading “I said yes!” On one hand, you’re super happy for your friends.  But on the other hand, you might be wondering if your turn to walk down the aisle will ever come. You may wonder if there is something wrong with you, because seriously,  the role of repeat bridesmaid can get a little old.  Below are some tips on how to cope when all your friends are getting married.

nonplussed bridesmaid

Don’t go down a shame spiral

Just because your friend found the man she is going to marry doesn’t mean that you won’t.  What is going on in anyone else s life has no direct effect on yours.  Don’t even entertain thoughts like “What is wrong with me?”  Your life is on its unique path, so let your girls have their time to shine now and trust that they’ll be there to plan your bachelorette party one day soon.

Let it out

Everyone has their breaking point, so when hear the news that yet another friend is tying the knot, feign happiness and get out of there as soon as possible. When you get home, cry it out and eat too much ice cream or call up a different friend and be honest about your feelings (but still eat the ice cream. It’s medicinal, you guys).  Sometimes we just need to release our emotions in order to deal or be free of them.

Don’t become a “yes woman”

By now, you’ve probably been a bridesmaid a few times and more than likely you’re pretty damn good at it.  This doesn’t mean that you should let all of your engaged friends treat you like their personal assistant. Sometimes in order to hide our true feelings, we over compensate and throw ourselves into all things wedding, even if it isn’t ours, but this will only lead to further resentment. Establish boundaries and don’t be afraid to say no.  You can take care of yourself and still be a kick-ass bridesmaid and supportive friend.

bride and bridesmaid

Check yourself before you wreck yourself

Above all, remember that your friend’s happiness doesn’t take anything away from yours, and because of that it’s important to not take anything away from hers.  Her getting engaged isn’t a personal attack on you, and she’s not trying to make you feel bad.  It’s one of the happiest days of her life, and she is choosing you to share it with her.  Don’t push away your girlfriends, engaged or not.  If you’re struggling to get in the spirit, confess your feelings to your friend. Chances are she’s already noticed that you aren’t being your usual bubbly self. Admit that you’re struggling with all kinds of emotions, and wondering if you’ll ever find what she has, but that you are happy to be part of her big day and are going to snap out of it immediately!  Now go get yourself a glass of champagne and smile.  Your best friend is getting married!

This guest post was written by We Love Dates, a worldwide online dating site and popular blog.

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