Bridezilla Readers,
We received some vicious hate mail from the anti-wedding brigade. And because it’s just so laughable, we decided to post it. Stay tuned for our response. Feel free to comment below and stick it to this bridezilla hater.
Yours Truly,
A. Zilla
10 Reasons Your Bridezilla Wedding is NOT Special
I’ve been watching a lot of Bridezillas on TV lately, and after giving it a considerable amount of thought I’m pretty sure the reason for this is because I’m a masochistic idiot who doesn’t know how to avoid things that piss him off. As a result of sitting through multiple marathons of the infuriating show with my girlfriend (whom I’m beginning to love more and more for the mere fact that she’s not bat shit crazy), I’ve started to recognize a few patterns.
First of all, the awfulness of the bride is directly proportional to the amount of screen time she gets. The show does a masterful job of adjusting the amount of time spent on each bride so it’s in direct proportion to how much of a bitch she is. If you charted it out, it would look something like this:
However, if anything, this is a testament to the artisans behind the scenes, and their ability to capture unadulterated ugliness with more gusto than any horror film in our generation. Still, what’s most disturbing is that from watching this you begin to get the impression every bride thinks their wedding is special. It’s “their day,” all eyes are on them, and they’ve “been dreaming about this” their whole lives. Sadly, the reality is that aside from them and (possibly) the groom, chances are no one else is really all that excited.
It’s my hope that I can do the world a huge public service by offering up a few quick reminders to all the would be brides out there as to why your wedding is NOT all that special after all.
1) Millions of People Have Already Done It
Even though it might be your first go-round, it’s not like you’re the only blushing bride to walk down the aisle. According to 2005 estimates, there are about 6,000 weddings a day in the US alone. The very idea that yours is somehow a unique and beautiful thing to the rest of the world might be a tad conceited on your part. In fact, just because something is exciting to you, doesn’t mean everyone else shares your sentiments. Which brings me to my next point…
2) No One is Nearly as Excited as You Are
The friends and family you feel are obligated to lavish you with attention are only being polite. Obviously they do care about you, and want you to be happy, and they’re probably even excited for you, but that still doesn’t mean they want to talk about it ad-nauseam for the next six to twelve months. In fact, if you stopped gushing for more than 10 seconds at a time you’d probably notice the glazed over look in their eyes as they politely nod in agreement with whatever it is you’re saying.
3) There’s a Good Chance It’s Going to Fail
It’s no huge secret that 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, but just like tempting fate by eating at Arby’s or using the pull out method, everyone just assumes they’ll be one of the lucky few who avoid the life changing discomfort when things go horribly wrong. If you’re spending an obscene amount of money on your wedding, think about whether or not your family would be equally excited to shell out $30K or more for you to wager on a coin flip. My guess is they wouldn’t.
4) You’re (Probably) Acting Like an Entitled Bitch
Getting back to that whole “no one else really gives a crap” issue, the mere fact that you’re joining the elite group of 2.2 million others getting married this year does not entitle you to anything. Phrases like “Because I’m the bride,” and “It’s my wedding,” should be stricken from your vocabulary in less you’re actually going to follow it up with something that’s grounded in sound real-world logic. Your getting married in no way entitles you to anything you wouldn’t normally expect to receive.
5) Weddings Can Feel Like a Chore
Here’s where I let you in on an ugly little secret: most people don’t like going to weddings. Sure, sure, some people enjoy the occasional wedding (if only for the open bar), and there is the rare weirdo who truly enjoys watching two people “joined together in holy matrimony.” Unfortunately, the vast majority of us look at it as a basic social obligation and pretty much dread the waste of a weekend all the way from the moment we get your save the date card right up until the part where you finally say “I Do.”
6) Your Vendors Deal With People Like You Every Single Day
Florists, bakeries, limo services, tailors, and pretty much any other vendors you might come across while planning your wedding are all businesses that service people who are getting married. So, just because this is the only wedding that happens to be yours does not mean you should expect discounts, additional accommodations, or special treatment. They are all businesses like any other, and are trying to make money by offering a specific service.
7) You’ve Been Hyping it For Way Too Long
Just like the fourth Indiana Jones movie that had been rumored and buzzed about for years before it even started shooting, the more you talk about, plan, and hype up your wedding, the bigger the inevitable letdown. If you’re rocking the long engagement, maybe you should lay off the hype-machine until it actually gets a little bit closer to the date. Your wedding announcement for June 12, 2010 only makes us think this whole spectacle is probably going to be an overblown mess of special effects and bad acting.
8) It’s Costing Everyone Else More Than They Want to Spend
You might not care about your budget, and for you it’s easy to write things off as being a once-in-a-lifetime (potentially anyway) event. But, for everyone else keeping tabs on their finances it can quickly become a costly affair. Yes you expect a gift at the wedding, and that’s fine, whatever…but, if you’re going to do a destination wedding and expect people to shell out several hundred dollars because they love you soooo much, don’t be surprised when that gift ends up being from the cheapest part of your registry.
9) Sequels Are Never as Good as the Original
This one shouldn’t even need to be on here, but if you already did the whole “Princess Wedding” thing on your first failed marriage, just shut the hell up and go to the courthouse for wedding number two. Your fairy-tale opportunity is null and void because you already cashed it in on a losing hand. Chances are your friends still remember how the first one ended, and if they remember how shitty it was then they’re probably not overly enthused at the prospect of shelling out money for your follow up. Just ask M Night Shyamalan.
10) Your Excitement is NOT Contagious
Lastly, if excitement were contagious, every woman I’ve been with would have had an orgasm. But, sadly it is NOT contagious, and just because you’re totally stoked to be getting married doesn’t mean every random stranger wants to hear all about it. Additionally, just because they don’t care does NOT mean they’re “just jealous.” No one is jealous of your impending marriage. Honestly, your husband is probably not that much of a catch anyway, because if he was he wouldn’t be putting up with your Bridezilla ass.
So, make of those what you will, but please don’t interpret it for sour grapes. I know not all women are like this, and I know that not even most women are like this. However, the fact that there are even a handful of women out there who act like this is enough to cause serious concern, and whenever I spot a woman wearing a sequined tank top adorned with the word “bride” it’s hard not to assume the worst. You’re not the only bride out there honey, get over yourself.
Wow… I never thought I’d live to see such a thoroughly thought-out letter on the internet. I’m frankly amazed. Ten very concise points with real-world examples, clearly explained, and I can find no fault in any of them. Maybe you people who call this “hate mail” should open your eyes and see the world around you. You are one (1). The world is close to 6.6 BILLION (6,600,000,000). In the grand scheme of things, you are insignificant, as am I, and everyone else. I do not know you, and I have absolutely NO interest in your wedding. I hope your marriage works out for you. No, you don’t need to be wasting air time with that. Replace every arrogant, ego-centric, obnoxious reality show like this with quality material about things that actually matter (science, history, the likes), and I would actually enjoy watching TV. Robot Wars, Junkyard Wars, Bill Nye, Star Trek: TNG, The Universe, Modern Marvels. All of these are very entertaining shows with something to be learned, or at least thought. I personally despise television that doesn’t have some form of substance, and conceited shows like this are among the worst.
I think that the author of this email is the only person here who has any sense.
I’ve never seen the show, or had an interest. This is the first funny or interesting thing I know of related to this. Please keep your response to yourself, it would ruin the beauty.
PS. This is not anti wedding, it’s anti bitch. There’s a HUGE difference.
If this is “vicious hate mail”, you haven’t been around the internets much, have you?
Nor is the poster from the “anti-wedding brigade” – seems to me he’s from the “mildly bemused by all the diva-princess-entitlement” brigade if anything.
And yes it is laughable, because it’s TRUE.
I will stay tuned for your response. Something tells me it’ll be far less amusing or forgiving than this reasoned piece from a so-called “bridezilla hater”.
I don’t know why you think this is “laughable”. He’s exactly right as far as I can tell.
So true, you have summarized what every intelligent person not caught up in a wedding thinks. Watching this stuff makes me want to elope.
The person who wrote this is totally awesome.
Hahaha not true my wedding is special!!!
This is genius.
Actually I agree with all of this person’s points.
lol so true. …and judging from the way these woman act, i would bet that they get divorced as soon as they start to look old.
I totally agree with them.
Get your priorities straight.
Marriage is an outdated, archaic institution anyway. How about spending that time, money, and energy on making the world a better place?
You could plant an entire forest with the money you spend on the typical wedding. You could feed and clothe many children for many years. You could get homeless people get sober and off the street. There are so many more productive things you could do.
Bridezillas and women capitalists are some of the most despicable characters on the planet.
That doesn’t look like hate mail to me. Hate mail uses things like all-caps, mispelled words, bad grammar, gratuitous expletives, and abusive language. Calling this hate mail is like calling a grape a raisin.
HAHAHA this is so great and so true. Whoever wrote this, I would like to shake your hand. You are a true American.
I think he makes 10 perfectly smart points and number 5 is my favorite; weddings are a chore. As a woman who has been in and to far to many weddings I could have written half this email myself. I am currently engaged and we are slipping away quietly to get the papers; the end.
Thank you for your article “10 Reasons Your Bridezilla Wedding is NOT Special”
It was very insightful, a must read for any future wife.
So, let me get this straight: you run a website promoting the bitchiness and bratty sense of entitlement displayed by some brides come “the big day,” by which many guests and observers of the wedding are put off, and you’re saying the hate mail you received is “anti-wedding” and “laughable?” Everything claimed in the above hate mail is certainly true. Hopefully, you’ll realize that.
Quite frankly this man is 100% correct. A fiancée turning into a Bridezilla is, frankly, a very good reason to completely rethink marrying this individual. At the very least, it’s a frightening look at how the marriage itself may progress. I personally have no desire to spend the rest of my life with a self-absorbed control freak, who also likely expects someone else to foot the bill.
Stick it to him? This guy is so spot on it’s not even funny. If only more people would speak up and make these point we might not have so many idiots out there flushing 1000s of dollars down the toilet. 2, 5 and 8 are so utterly perfect it’s not even funny.
Every women should have to read this. Three cheers for the writer!
Wow great letter! I think I just found my new best friend.
It’s interesting that the majority of these comments are from men. Do you only get married out of obligation? Why shouldn’t we celebrate love?
Maybe you’ve never felt it. I feel sorry for you for not being able to enjoy something as happy as a wedding. You’re those people sitting at the loser table with your head down that don’t dance. Don’t get married. Your wedding would be lame.
A Zilla,
The fact that you call this “vicious hate mail” only exposes the over dramatic lie that is bridezilla & quite possibly, your life.
How overwhelmingly male. I have to agree with the outlook on the show Bridezillas, what I don’t agree with is such a cynical and selfish outlook on weddings. While the topical points may have some grounding in fact, it’s the supporting comments that destroy the message. The answer is pure and simple, if you hate weddings so much, don’t go. Change the channel. Move on. Better yet, take a harder look at the culture that created the show and the industry that propels it. Try and solve the “problem” rather than bitching about it in blog form.
I love how not liking the terrible aspects of a white wedding is considered a male aspect.
Good job playing the sexist card and yet being one yourselves, the two commentators above me!
I’m not a big fan of the whole ‘half of marriages end in divorce’ BS. So the stats might read that there are X amount of marriages, and Y amount of divorces – and when you divide X by Y – you get half, but it’s not that simple.
This doesn’t take into account all the fools that get married (and divorced) more than once. And there’s always the unlikely event of two people getting back together after they’ve split.
There is an argument to be made that not all people should get married, some people just suck at life. However, that doesn’t mean that putting some faith into your own marriage and throwing a big ass party to celebrate it should be off limits.
I totally agree with this list! I haven’t been to a wedding since I was 15 but I am dreading the three I have to go to this summer. The worst part is that I’m pretty sure if I got married all three of these couples would not go to my wedding.
HAHAHA WOW TALK ABOUT AN EPIC FAILURE AT ATTEMPTING TO SOLICIT HATE-FEEDBACK TO THE HATE MAIL.
Bridezilla: Take a hint.
DeezNuts,
Talk about an epic failure coming up with a user name. What is this 1995? I bet you describe everything as “the bomb.” Don’t lie.
After reading the comments, I feel perplexed. Ya’ll are taking the easy road. Hear me out peeps.
I agree with #8, particularly because of the current economic situation.
Aside from that though, let’s put on our thinking caps and look at it from the bride’s view. Or even from the human standpoint. It’s all a matter of social conditioning and cultural influence. I’m not saying it’s cool to be bitchy- but dammit, it IS a special day when you commit your life to someone else, and it deserves all the attention you can get.
I’m going to go out on a limb and suggest that perhaps the crazy bridezillas are the most hopeful and optimistic people of us all. They’re going into it full force, trying to materialize their feelings into something that they will be able to hold on to forever. Women certainly aren’t going into it with the idea that they’ll have to do it all over again with someone else a few years later. Blah! (and duh!)
Now take this optimism and feed it heavy duty marketing by the bridal industry. And reality shows that glamorize such behavior. And celebrity/royal weddings that make us drool. And barbies and kens that we dream of imitating as children. Can’t you guys understand that it’s the only possible result to all of this?
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with wanting a perfect day to celebrate a life transition with loved ones. I have attended weddings out of obligation; we all have. But I would have felt worse had I not been invited. At the heart of every bridezilla is a woman who just wants to give her friends and family the best day possible. It’s a day you can’t hold back on – no regrets.
So. Is there anything wrong with being hopeful in today’s climate? The world would do better with less pessimism and more constructive action. And why complain about something that so many business livelihoods depend on? Are you too good for their money?
The downside of this is, the next generation’s bridezillas will be way more extreme. The best thing we can do now is tone down our own reactions, and understand the psychiatry behind all of it. We should support brides, as passionate or perfectionist as they may be, lest we be hypocritical once we’re in their shoes.
being excited about your big day is all fine and good, but it doesn’t mean you have to leave a financial warpath. i hadn’t even heard of this website until today, but doing some research, watching some episodes, it all reminds me of the worst of the worst tepid American Consumerist trash. turn it off!
The poster, probably a man, forgot an important point. The wedding is about the both of you. Instead of blowing all the money on this day, save most of what you were going to spend on the honeymoon. That’s the part where it’s just the two of you, relaxing, and where you’ll build a lot more memories of each other rather than rushing around making sure everything is right.
As my name suggests, I’m a man with five children. I’ve been married for 10 years, and given the road I’ve been down with my wife, will probably be happily married to her the rest of my life.
That said, I agree with ALMOST everything this “hate mail” says about weddings. The modern wedding is overblown. The moment you pick up a bride magazine or read a bride website, you’ve become part of an industry. You’re not celebrating the rest of your lives together, you’re spending money on what someone with a business license tells you is special.
Ladies and gentlemen, listen to my advice: if you are getting married and want your wedding to be the most special day of your life, then plan it without any aid or input. Think about what is special to you, what is special about your relationship and what is special about your day and celebrate those things. If you like barbecue in a plastic cup with mashed potatoes, you should have that for your wedding dinner – not food you’ve never had before nor can pronounce. Spend the money on something that will last, and treasure the memory of your special day – it’s priceless.
All I’m going to say is these men and few women that have these negative feelings about wedding, just remember that when you want to show off those pictures of your ugly baby that no one wants to see or hear about. HMMMM or would u be happy for us just to tell u how ugly that mutt is
To KIKI: The metaphor is inaccurate. Surely a white lie is not the same as a financial and time drain. And you don’t get shown the same picture of kids every time you see them for six months to a year. In fact, your metaphor only fits one of his 10 points.
Haha, nice try, Kiki.
I know that I watch Bridezillas to keep myself in check. I have a tendency to get a little bitchy, especially when I’m stressed, and planning a wedding is stressful. I ask myself, “What would Bridezilla do?” and then I do the opposite. My fiance and I enjoy the show for it’s ridiculous brides ranting about cake and flowers. I think he is thankful that I am not like that.
As a married woman, I couldn’t agree more with the man who wrote this letter. He is not anti wedding, just anti all-about-me, complete-spoiled-brat, mortgage-the-house-for-a few-hours-of-partying divas. Remember, its the marriage that’s important, not the wedding. I worked for a florist while in college, and his rule of thumb was “The bigger the wedding, the shorter the marriage.” From what I’ve seen, it holds pretty true. Of course, I can only wonder what sort of woman acts like such a complete bitch to everyone, especially in front of cameras for national broadcast?
As a married woman, I couldn’t agree more with the man who wrote this letter. He is not anti wedding, just anti all-about-me, complete-spoiled-brat, mortgage-the-house-for-a few-hours-of-partying divas. Remember, its the marriage that’s important, not the wedding. I worked for a florist while in college, and his rule of thumb was “The bigger the wedding, the shorter the marriage.” From what I’ve seen, it holds pretty true. Of course, I can only wonder what sort of woman acts like such a complete bitch to everyone, especially in front of cameras for national broadcast?
I agree with the person who wrote the letter these brides are horrible!I would like to know how many of them are still married?The men are fools and the devils push them around like girls its funny.Where do you find these people crack houses!
I only watch the show in hopes of the groom deciding to run away. I was watching it a moment ago, but my eyes and ears felt molested with nonsense, thus I had to change the channel to National Geographic. This list is great, and everyone, man or woman, should read this for entertainment or for an excellent life lesson.
This list is well constructed. I find it humorous that there are people on this board getting offended by it.
I’m sorry, but having an inflated sense of entitlement is not OK. I don’t care if it’s your wedding or not. It’s just not OK. Incidentally, if you are supposing that it is OK, since it’s your wedding, then it should be equally OK for the groom to have an appropriately large sense of entitlement as pertaining to the wedding, which the show certainly does not espouse.
I have a hard time watching five minutes of this show, because every time I see it on I find myself actually wanting the zillas’ marriages to fail out of spite. I’m sure that hoping won’t be in vain, given their horrific treatment of their intended spouses, but it is unfortunate that I hope such things nonetheless.
Oh, and nice try Bridezillas trying to generate support for your nonsense by posting this online.
Bad dog, no biscuits.
absolutely agree with the 10 points of this letter, and i would love to see how many of these couples are actually still married, how about a follow up?! This letter is not anti wedding, everyone is entitled to act excited for their wedding, but these women are in no way entitled to act bitchy, mean, spoiled, just downright horrible to the people around them, everyone gets stressed but that doesn’t allow them to treat people with disrespect. More than anything i pity the husbands…to marry a woman like that…good luck!
I think the 10 reasons could be eye-opening for some women because it is frank (but very condescending). But there is a flaw: no solution is offered for the behavior that the author finds so despicable.
These women are acting like this for a reason. Society has placed an immense pressure on them to make this one event so perfect. They are supposed to be the most beautiful sight known to man and in the tiniest size they can fit into. They are supposed to make this big charade of their love for someone and prove how fantastic their love is through decorations and fancy clothes.
Many bridezillas spawn from the lack of participation and cooperation from their husbands-to-be. The guys say, “Honey, it’s your day. You can do whatever you want! Make it special.” And with that, their out of all the tedious planning and negotiating and budgeting that must be done and this places tremendous pressure on the bride (maybe pushing her closer to going bananas?)
Weddings are not carnivals. They aren’t supposed to be fairytales or spectacles or parades. I think we’re losing the point. If marrying your significant other and having a meaningful (and far less costly emotionally and financially)celebration with family and friends isn’t enough, you should reconsider. If you need all of the glitter and sparkle and flowers and heels, maybe the actual marriage is lacking something. If it is more about the wedding day than the vow, you REALLY need to think about it. Marriage is about spending your life with someone. The celebration isn’t just one day. It’s a lifetime. Isn’t that special enough? Let’s relieve some of these brides and stop focusing on the smoke and mirrors of the actual wedding day and get back to loving someone and commiting your life of loving to them.
So, so true, which is exactly why my guy and I are having a small wedding, no big fuss and the reception in a brewery as a reward to all those who make it along.
Bridezilla’s scare me, I have a friend who got with a guy he suggested they might move in together after a while, since things were going alright, she promptly asked me to be her maid of honour. Crazy.
And this isn’t hate mail, even if it was, I reckon hate mail is justifiable when it’s against prima-donna nobodies who could be doing a lot more with their money than wasting it on a single day.
Remember folks, it should be about the marriage NOT the wedding – the wedding is a single day, the marriage should be the rest of your life, what’s most worth investing your time, money and energy into?
“let’s put on our thinking caps and look at it from the bride’s view.”
Must be fuckin small hats…
I completely agree with everything on this list and I am a woman (to the sexist female poster up there). Now that being said, if you want a big wedding and you’re either spending your own money or it is being freely and HAPPILY given to you (while you are GRATEFUL for the gift), then whatever. I didn’t spend much money at all for our wedding, but if you would rather have an expensive wedding than a house to live in for years to come then who am I to judge?
However there is absolutely no reason to act like a total b*tch in the process. I’m sorry, but I’ve seen the show and there is no way that anyone should ever act that way. I’ve seen 2 year olds that are more grateful and polite! My 1 year old at least gives me a kiss to say “thank you” about fifty percent of the time. These women run around like the whole world owes them and their future husband is their slave. There was one episode where, after the wedding, the bride talked about how she now had a marriage certificate and that she literally owned him and he would never see his friends again because he belonged to her!!!!
I thought the whole point of the show Bridezillas was to show women how NOT to act. I didn’t think that anyone watched that show and sided with the bride! I truly hope those marriages don’t last and, more importantly, that those women don’t breed! We do not need more crazy, self-centered, rude, and obnoxious people running about screaming at their husbands and friends and family to wait on them hand and foot while they complain that it isn’t good enough. And no a wedding is no excuse to act like that!
I agree with all 10 points. I’m excited about my wedding coming up but I don’t for one second think everyone wants to talk about it everyday or they care as much as I do. Also, we decided we wouldn’t get married until we bought a house which we did. No one is special, no bride is entitled-brizezillas suck!
What kind of an example is being set by playing into the hands of trashy brides .
In some cases these girls committed felonies. Where is it written that marriage
is a synonym for entitlement. Where does” I am the Bride ” translate into
“I am Queen of the Castle and you are my slaves. ” What is wrong with these men who put up with such ignorant ,selfish behavior? Is not the Groom entitled to to be considered during the process – -it’s supposed to be a loving
partnership, not a Queen and consort. Also I totally agree that the worse the bride behaves the more screen time she gets.
In most every episode that I have seen the
couples have been living together and have one or more children. These children are either ignored or badgered depending on their age.
It’s not the dress, the flowers, the food,the venue, the music, the cake that make the wedding, it’s the sincerity of the of the couple exchanging marriage vows.
These shows and others like them are way beyond my comprehension.
What horrible examples of adult behavior we are exposing
the next generation to. Shows like Toddlers and Tiaras and Little Miss Perfect feed –no, stuff down the throats of these youngsters that here is no worth
to their lives unless they ‘re the best, most beautiful, best dressed,
most talented (to the exclusion of their own siblings ),I might add.
What are we doing to our kids and what are we teaching our young women?
Yes, I know the immediate answer–don’t like it, don’t watch, but the commercials are endlessly repeated! And, I AM watching less and less!
My opinion rests firmly in the middle here. Clearly the women on Bridezillas are CRAZY, evil b7tches and this chap does raise some fair points. But I do find his cynicism pretty horrible too. My fella and I are getting married next year and of course I’m very very excited about it – both because I’m looking forward to the actual day and because I can’t wait to begin our marriage. There is no way that I would expect anyone else to care about my wedding the way I do but I also wouldn’t want anyone belittling it either. Yes you’re not the first person in the world to get married but for the couple in question, it IS special and I think its just plain nasty for people not to acknowledge that. My wedding is costing a fair amount of money, not extortionate but not cheap either, but we are paying every single penny ourselves. We work hard and pay our taxes and give to charity so who’s blo8dy business is it if we decide to spend some of our hard earned cash on a wedding?! Just because we want a nice day doesn’t mean we don’t love each other or understand the meaning of marriage! So sick of people saying that if you really loved each other you’d just run down to the local registry office and not bother with the whole “circus” wedding. I love my fiancé very much and can’t wait to be his wife but its still my right to spend money on a “special” day if that’s what we want to do. People should just stop judging either way.
Carlie, or karlie, you are terrible. Your by racial husband if he married you should have walked away from you just from the way you treated his white mother. You are a sick woman and fat woman also to be with that small handsome man. He should kick you to the corner and let you make money from the streets. Jesus died for us because he loved all of us and you hate everyone but yourself. You are mean and hateful, I can only pray that God will bless you with change in heart and as well as love. You do not deserve a husband or a wife. People like you make me not want to watch the show because it is not all of that just to get your way. If you were to stop being a Witch with a B_____ on it, things would work out better. You owe your friend for shoes you burned. You’re mother in law as tried to be nice to you with a home made gift and because it was not your standard you trashed just as your life will be trashed in the future. What goes around comes around and it is sooner than you think Sister Girl. May God touch you and bless you with Godly sense.