As much as I Love to hate Elizabeth Gilbert (in a I-can’t-stand-you-because-you-make-a-living-traveling way) and Pray that she loses a tooth (because she’s intelligent, rich, and pretty) I Eat her books like I’m desert-island stranded and she’s the last author on earth.
Sure, her tales of travel in Eat, Pray Love make me green with bridezilla envy, but she has writing chops. I enjoyed Eat, Pray, Love and hated it at the same time because she’s writing about a life rich with pasta, hot Italian guys, and “finding herself.”
Ohhh, the unfairness – just imagine the luxury of a much-delayed gap year with actual money to spend.
She may have the Eat, Praying, and Loving thing down, but what could Gilbert, a divorcee possibly tell this bridezilla about marriage?

Committed, Required Reading for Every Bridezilla

Gilbert and her Brazilian-born-lover (sigh) Felipe can’t live together in the US unless they tie the knot. Together they roam the planet in search of a reason to get married. No jobs. No family obligations. Nothing to do but travel, eat, and talk. In Southeast Asia.
Both have been emotionally damaged by their past divorces. Unlike those young, naive bridezillas, who want the party in the princess dress, Gilbert is apprehensive about tying the knot. So she does what every good writer does – she researches it.
Truthfully, the beginning nearly put me to sleep. It read like an 8th- grade history book. She goes into the entire history of marriage when I wanted the juicy tidbits of her relationship with Felipe. I don’t care that the early Christians didn’t believe in marriage. I don’t care about Buddha’s views on desire and infatuation.
I care about you holing up in Bali with a Brazilian-millionaire-lover, exiled from your hometown. That’s much more interesting.
That said, the book takes an exciting turn after the first few chapters. She starts talking to people about their life decisions – what makes a marriage tick? Can a woman have her own identity in a marriage? Is marriage more beneficial to a man or woman? What’s the point of a marriage ceremony? (It’s not to show off your Vera Wang gown.)
It’s not a beach read – this is a serious book, so put on those Versace reading glasses. One you get passed the first few chapters, you won’t want to put it down. Committed should be required reading for every bridezilla on her way down the aisle.

It’s that time of year again: engagement season. To prepare pre-bling bridezillas, who may have an inkling that there’s a proposal in their future, I reviewed “51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged.”

51 Things You Should Know Before Getting Engaged
This pre-marital manual looks like something you’d pick up in couple’s counseling and bring home discretely in a paper bag. Written by a psychotherapist named Michael Batshaw (not Dr. Batshaw), it smells a little too self help for this bridezilla. But if it saves women from getting lured into a bad marriage by a 3-carat princess cut from Tiffany’s, it’s worth reviewing.

Some of the advice seemed obvious. My big bridezilla wedding took place almost four-years ago when gerber daisies were the hottest trend. I’m well aware how important it is for both of us to have social lives (no. 46), that we shouldn’t discuss every random thought I have about him with him (no. 27) and that lingering family baggage should be checked and not carried into marriage (no 17). Common sense right?
Then I came to “You’re going to have to deal with your in-laws, like them or not.” (no. 20). Everyone who is married will tell you this. You’ll brush off their advice with an uncomfortable half smile and mother-in-law joke.
Inside, you wonder what the big deal is: you’re not marrying his family; you’re marrying him. You tell yourself he’s nothing like them and when you jet off on the honeymoon, you’ll be leaving his freakish family of traveling gypsies behind. Wrong.
Even if you like your in-laws, the first holiday as a married couple you may find yourself curled under a blanket, sobbing and drunk because her pot roast isn’t your mom’s and who-the-hell are these people anyways?
Do not ignore your future mother in law’s seething side-glance when you show her the proposal pictures (first sign you’re engaged to a momma’s boy). As “51-Things” points out you are marrying his mother and his scheming sister with the Harley Davidson tattoo. Marry someone with a family you can tolerate.
No 32 – Never say “You never” or “You always.” Speaking in absolutes is a habit harder to break than chocolate. It’s like me saying, “You never read bridezilla anymore.” Those words immediately put you on the defensive, don’t they? “Of course I do! I read it all the time…so what if I haven’t checked back in awhile. Take me back. Take me back.”
No. 12 — “Daily Habits are More Important than You May Realize.” Luckily, my beloved groomzilla and I share the same clothes-on-the-floor-dishes-in-the-sink moderate sloppy habits. We both suffer from the opposite of OCD (the ability to ignore a mess until the show “Hoarders” knocks on the door).
Daily habits have never been much a problem for us, because we share a compatible living style. You may have to deal with his mismatched socks and inability to put ketchup back in the fridge forever. If his habits have almost sent you to the psych ward, he may not be the one.
Although this manual didn’t have much meat; it’s a great start to talking and thinking about marriage. And it’s just small enough to hide from your future fiance. I give it a bridezilla B-.

Straightforward marital advice in a purse-sized book that’s small enough to hide from your future fiance.

My name is bridezilla and I’m a wedding book nerd. As a bridezilla, writer, and long-time member of the literati, wedding planning books are my thing. I spend every Saturday morning trolling the bookstore and nothing lures me in quite like the aisle of pastel-blue and-white hardcovers. With so many wedding planning books, what’s a bridezilla to do? Select from our bridezilla bestsellers!

1. Offbeat Bride: Taffeta-Free Alternatives for Independent Brides
Sure, you spent many of late nights perusing The Offbeat Bride’s “wedding porn,” (as do we) but did you know the blogger now has a book? Bridezillas who aren’t afraid to wear a lime-green wedding dress or have a coffin on their wedding cake will appreciate this taffeta-free text. This wedding planning book doesn’t tell you how to create your own Offbeat wedding, it’s inspirational, not instructional. It comes alive with anecdotes from Ariel Meadow Stalling’s own experiences.

2. The Wedding Book: The Big Book for Your Big Day
We said it before and we’ll say it again: The Wedding Book should grace every bridezilla’s bookshelf. This bible-size tome made the bridezilla best-seller list because it’s full of every tip, trick, and trend out there. It covers everything from engagement announcement to the crucial days just before you say “I Do.”

3. Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette, 5e
What makes the perfect wedding? “The bride and groom both look as though they were sunlight behind their eyes as though their mouths irresistibly turned to smiles.” Where would we be without Emily Post? She taught us to handle sticky situations with the grace of a white-gloved Queen. Emily Post’s great granddaughter-in-law, Peggy Post wrote this wedding etiquette book. It covers every etiquette tip in the book for new and modern brides. If you ever wondered how to diplomatically deal with your mother in law or what to do about your ever-growing guest list, read this.

4. The DIY Bride: 40 Fun Projects for Your Ultimate One-of-a-Kind Wedding
We know, a true bridezilla would rather hire someone than resort to do-it-yourself. But when you’re as anal-retentive as us, it pays to get out the glue gun. The DIY Bride offers 40 fun projects and clever crafts for your ultimate one-of-a-kind wedding. If you’re wavering on this book, consider that you’ll get all the kudos for your brilliant creations. Not your wedding planner, not your venues, you.

5.Anti-Bride Guide: Tying the Knot Outside of the Box
The Anti-Bride Guide high-heel kicks convention to the curb. Our obsession with organza and Manolos considered, bridezilla is the opposite of anti-bride. But the author’s sassy illustrations and brilliant tips kept us entertained and wanting more. If you want wedding checklists that don’t reek of “The Knot,” pick up the Anti-Bride.

6.The Best of Martha Stewart Living : Weddings
Who better to give wedding advice than the maven of elegant entertainment – Martha Stewart! This book rolls all her previous wedding advice up into one cinnamon bun of a book. It’s full of beautiful snapshots and practical advice. Best Of Martha is especially perfect if you plan to have one of those gorgeous Connecticut country club weddings. Martha has a discerning eye for wedding detail. She may have been one of the first bridezillas!

7. In Style: Weddings
From the most formal church ceremony to barefoot on the beach, InStyle Weddings includes them all. With more than 500 colorful and black & white photographs, it’s a visual masterpiece and pairs wonderfully with a morning latte.

As a wee zilla, Mad Libs were our thing. We played them on the bus. We played them with our third-grade crush. We played them at slumber parties, dreaming up stories about the boys we liked and the girls we hated. At recess, Mad Libs circled the playground and the game lasted all of two minutes before someone tried to slip in (gulp) a dirty word. If you’re a fellow Mad Libber, good news: They’re baack. With adorable pin-up cover art. And just in time for your bridezilla bachelorette party!
The rules are simple: one player asks you to blindly fill in the blanks of a story with random adjectives, nouns, and verbs. It’s best played after bridezilla downs a couple of martinis. Hilarity ensues when you read the story out loud. Play Mad Libs en route to ladies’ night. Or ditch the penis paraphernalia and give your bachelorette bash a retro twist.

When I first laid eyes on Laura Levine’s new Jaine Austen mystery, Killing Bridezilla, I was skeptical. As an adolescent I avoided mysteries at all costs. Poor Nancy Drew collected dust on the shelf, while I devoured every book in the Sweet Valley High series. But like a bridezilla to Manolos, this mystery pulled me in with a supernatural-like force.
Since I stay clear of my library’s mystery section, I never read any of Laura Levine’s books and didn’t know what to expect. The cover cartoon of a bride in a coffin sent shivers down my spine and brought about visions of my own untimely demise. But all my misconceptions about mysteries stopped when I read the first page. It’s a snappy, humorous read, not a dark warning to bridezillas.
Jaine Austen is a part-time writer of toilet ads (very unbridezilla) and part-time private investigator. When Jaine’s archnemesis Patty Marshall hires her out of the blue to write her wedding vows, Jaine’s first instinct is to say no. But with a dwindling bank account and a lucrative offer from Patti, Jaine takes the assignment and ends up with a much bigger problem on her hands when bridezilla bites the big one.
Patti is the uberbridezilla. She screams at the caterer over a romaine lettuce mix-up and asks Jaine to rewrite the wedding vows multiple times. The only thing longer than her list of demands is her list of enemies. No mystery here; it’s obvious from the beginning that bridezilla will go down. What’s not so obvious is who did the deed.

After bridezilla’s dramatic death, Jaine switches gears from writer to detective, determined to find her killer. As she searches for the murderer, she’s forced into hilarious situations – including the Hermosa High School Reunion – an event Jaine hoped to avoid at all costs.
Jaine can’t help but to make light of her own shortcomings as she encounters old classmates. That’s what I love about this mystery. All women, on some level can relate to Jaine. Sure, bridezillas cover up their awkward years the way you would a pimple, but most of us have a few choice moments we’d like to forget. Jaine over-indulges at the appetizer table (guilty), she makes up a neurosurgeon fiance (who hasn’t?) and she sets a toupee on fire (if I knew someone with a toupee, believe me, it would be in flames).
Jaine’s ability to poke fun at herself makes this a great read and turned me into a Laura Levine fan for life. This titillating book kept me up way past my usual bedtime (a sign of any great mystery) and made me giggle out loud. As I turned the pages, I wanted to know who the killer was and what shinnanagins Jaine would get into next. All in all, it earns a well-deserved bridezilla B+.

Summer reading is supposed to be like a hot summer fling — easy, fun and purely for entertainment. Queen of Babble Gets Hitched strives to be all of those things, but with cliche characters and plot that reads like adolescent fiction, it unfortunately falls flat. We suggest bridezillas tote a different book to the beach house this summer.
Written by Meg Cabot (author of The Princess Diaries), the third installment in the Queen of Babble series centers around weddings. It takes place in a posh, French-style bridal shop in Manhattan. While Lizzie is busy retrofitting vintage gowns for wealthy brides, her mind is on her own engagement to Luke — a “good on paper” guy with a lot of cash, but not a lot of heart.
Enter Chaz – Luke’s yokel best friend who seems to have a thing for Lizzie, Ava Geck – a Paris Hilton-meets-Britney Spears trainwreck, and Lizzie’s supportive best friend Shari and you have something that’s been done before. Queen of Babble Get Hitched is the literary equivalent to an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy,” – it’s entertaining, but not earth shattering, and the characters get on your nerves. The best part about this book are the wedding tidbits, love quotes, and wedding disaster advice at the beginning of each chapter.
Despite its predictable plot and poorly developed characters, the book brings to light an important lesson for bridezilla: before you go after what you want, wedding or otherwise, you have to decide what that something is. Lizzie has to decide if she wants a three-carat Cartier ring from a man she might not love, or no marriage at all from a cargo-pants-clad guy who makes her heart flutter. Seems like bridezilla can have too many choices after all!

A lesser bride might be content with a slim volume of trendy wedding tips, but Bridezillas will not settle for anything less than the godmother wedding planning book. Plus, carrying this considerable tome will give you those elusive Angelina arms you’ve been wanting for your strapless dress.
A Few Wedding Planning Gems Inside:

• Never Plan a Wedding During Daylight Savings Weekend
• Bridal Bodyguards-Mindy appoints a lookout to make sure her bride doesn’t see any other bride on the Big Day. We concur!
• As you scout for your location, don’t forget to case the bathroom situation and figure out if there’s enough power on site to supply your whole event.
• Use photo booth photography to make your Save the Date cards.
• Don’t forget your wedding shopping underwear! (Trying on wedding gowns is not a private experience)
  Not blowing your budget on bridal magazines and picking up this timeless tome instead? Bridezilla calls that a “Weiss” Investment. Bridezilla Bonus Tip: This book makes a great heirloom to hand down to future bridal generations.
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  Touted by the publisher marketing department as “Sex and the City-eque”, it turns out that is a very accurate description of Chasing Harry Winston, Lauren Weisberger’s newest offering to the literary world and follow up novel to her major best seller The Devil Wears Prada. As someone who devoured The Devil Wears Prada the first time and then went back for second and third helpings over the years, you could definitely say I am a fan of Ms. Weisberger’s work.
  Unfortunately Chasing Harry Winston hits a little too close to Sex and the City (SATC) for this reader. The three main characters can be drawn directly to the cast of SATC, minus Carrie Bradshaw (and who wants a SATC that’s minus Carrie Bradshaw?) The result is a pretty formulaic and predictable story line. There were bright spots of banter, bonding and some downright sensible advice for the capturing and releasing of menzzzz, but overall this novel falls right into the marketing department’s promotional “Beach Read of 2008″ to be forgotten about come September.
  Overall the novel is a fast read, designer names sprinkled in here and there to give it that glamorous feel and while I do heart SATC, seeing a diluted version of it print is like drinking a watered-down cosmopolitan. However, it delivers what it promises, young Manhattanites trying to make the most of who they are and what they have to give, leaning on each other for support and learning to be happy for one another. Bonus points for a cover that couldn’t be more Bridezilla if it tried!

  ]]> http://www.bridezilla.com/chasing-harry-winston-the-watered-down-cosmopolitan-of-chick-lit/feed 0 http://www.bridezilla.com/bridezilla-reviews-a-thousand-days-in-venice-by-marlena-de-blasi http://www.bridezilla.com/bridezilla-reviews-a-thousand-days-in-venice-by-marlena-de-blasi#comments Tue, 18 Dec 2007 15:16:44 +0000 missz http://www.bridezilla.com/?p=308

  We love a good escapist romance, at least outside of the fainting women and swashbuckling men bodice-ripper genre. There’s nothing quite as escapist and romantic as a tale of falling in love with a Venetian stranger and flying to Italy to become his bride, as in A Thousand Days in Venice, by Marlena De Blasi, a true story of a woman who does just that. A delicious read for any time of year, this one works especially well during the cold winters when you’d like to curl up in front of a fire in a palazzo of your own. The luscious-sounding recipes even got us interested in cooking for a hot minute – luckily, that urge passed, and we just set to Citysearching for the nearest Italian restaurant. And if you think your own wedding planning has been trying, revel in the madcap adventures as Marlena navigates the vast and mysterious world of Venetian marriages, from underage seamstresses to bishops insistent that a Catholic wedding will take months. As the Italians insist, of course, the struggle only makes it sweeter. Read this one when you need to get away from it all, and when you’re finished, start leaving this page up on your fiance’s computer whenever he leaves the room.
  Read It, Love It: A Thousand Days in Venice, by Marlena De Blasi

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  We’re suckers for a good tell-all, and with the wide range of people David Boyer interviewed to gather material for his book Bachelor Party Confidential, it’s like sitting down to get all the gossip straight from the source of over a hundred people who have been there. From bachelor party pranks gone wrong to the trials and tribulations of lesbian strippers, you’ll hear all the dirt you’ve been dying for, making this a great summer beach read.

  
  Is the mystery gone since Boyer exposed the experiences of these people? Hardly. But we’re not inclined to fasten on the ball and chain just yet – at least, not until after our own bachelorette parties (hello, strawberry Jell-o shots and Dirk the chiseled male stripper!). Of course our husbands-to-be wouldn’t dream of straying, as the threat of a stiletto through the heart has an appreciably sobering effect on rowdy grooms, but it’s good to know what they very well might be up to. Just don’t let it get you too paranoid, and no matter what you do, don’t let him have the party the night before the wedding – a hungover husband-in-progress isn’t of much use to anyone.
  Check out a few excerpts at Indiebride here or visit the official site here!

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