You don’t want her in your wedding party anymore. Maybe she was laid off and you want to spare her the cost of those Vera Wang bridesmaid gowns. Maybe she refused to cover her giant skull-and-snake tattoo or dye her hair from bubble-gum pink back to brown before the Big Day. Maybe she’ll be eight-months pregnant, and you don’t want her waddling down the aisle, stealing attention from you with her baby bump and pregnancy glisten.
Years ago, I was demoted from Maid of Honor to mere first-to-walk bridesmaid and without just cause. The bride asked me in the early planning stages to be her Maid of Honor. Months later, after she got a new best friend, she asked “Do you still want to be a um… bridesmaid?” Ouch. I performed my bridesmaid duties, but with the bitter taste in my mouth, I could barely enjoy the wedding cake much less muster a smile.
There is a proper way to break up with your bridesmaid. And it doesn’t involve back-talking, text messages, or a tear-filled scene straight out of Mean Girls. Read on and learn how to let a girl go, bridezilla style.

Choose carefully. Once you send her a Will You Be My Bridesmaid Card, you can’t take it back. Choose your wedding party the way the President picks his Cabinet. Is she your best friend through thick and thin or just some girl you met at the bus stop? Can she meet a bridezilla’s constant-and-often-times thankless demands? Is she excited about your wedding or awash in envy?
Never fire in front of other bridesmaids. If you have to give your bridesmaid the bridezilla boot, do it in private. Don’t embarrass her in front of the other girls. Anticipate a tantrum? Take her to lunch or the library and she’ll be “ssshed” if she tries to make a scene. It’s the oldest trick in the break-up book.
Tell it to her straight. Resist the urge to drunkenly text your bridesmaid, “U R not in my wedding party anymore.” Be strong and direct, say “I’d like you to step down as a bridesmaid.” Then give her the reason why: “Comparing the guy I’m about to marry to a less-cute Gary Busey is unacceptable.” Or “When I ask you to do something, you move at the rate of a three-toed sloth.” Follow it up with “I hope we can still be friends and that you’ll attend the wedding as a guest.”
Prepare for fallout Hurt feelings and humiliation from being asked to step down almost ruined my longtime relationship with “the Demoter”. When you ask a bridesmaid to resign, you put your friendship on the chopping block. Don’t be surprised if she throws your wedding gown into a bonfire or turns her rage into a revenge blog (ahem). See if you could resolve the situation before it calls for a firing. Let her go as a very last resort.

A seasoned shopper, you know all about sample sales and second-hand stores. Today, Bridezilla goes beyond the basics with an advanced guide to getting a gorgeous gown for minimal moolah. We have consulted professional ateliers, fellow Bridezillas, and other fabulous sites to bring you the best of the best guide to budget gowns. Here’s some tips to get you started:

5Dupiono, Dahling.

Dupiono is the Bridezilla’s best friend you’ve never heard of. Pictured above, this low-cost silk is gorgeously lustrous, offers a crisp drape, and is great at withstanding wrinkles. The favorite fabric of all bridezillas seeking fabulous frugalosity, you can save a bundle by investing in this beautiful silk. Best of all, it is easy to get matching beaded Dupioni so you won’t have to sacrifice opportunities for embellishment (the Bridezilla deathknell) by opting for a better-value fabric. Lastly, Dupioni is a preferred fabric of ateliers because it is easy to sew,-which brings us to our next tip. ….

4Couture is the key.

Contrary to popular belief, couture doesn’t mean a designer gown or the latest celebrity trend. It refers to hand-tailoring, which is a great option for bridezillas on a budget. Remember, the single most important factor in looking chic on your wedding dress isn’t about having the latest style, its about having the perfect fit that makes your body look incredible. Thus, a great way to get a fabulous dress on a budget is to pick out your fabric and have your dress hand-made by a tailor. By focusing on cut and color instead of trendy styles and heavy embellishments, you can easily get a fabulous dress for little funds. Plus, hiring even a mid-priced seamstress means you still get all the excitement of whole dress-making process, like having your dress sketched and getting fitted for a muslin. Fun!

3Find a flesh-flattering white.

If the fit of the gown is the most important factor in a wedding gown, color is certainly second. Bridezilla cannot say this enough: all whites were not created equal! Wedding dresses come in myriad hues, from champagne to calla lily, and finding the right shade for you is essential. Remember, the wrong shade will make you look washed-out or jaundiced, and with the price you are paying for wedding photography, a less-than-lovely complexion just won’t do. Here’s a quick crash course in finding the right white:
It’s all about contrasts, so if you have a dark complexion, a “stark white” -the brightest variety- looks perfect on you. Ivory, Eggshell or Candlelight white are all gorgeous choices for red-heads and olive-skinned brunettes. If you’ve got blond hair and a pale complexion, rum white (pictured above) has a pinky undertone that brings out a pretty flush in your skin. At a loss? Ask your local bridal boutique for gowns in diamond white. Almost everyone looks pretty in this mellow white, which is softer and less styrofoam-y than its stark cousin. Bridezilla Bonus Tip: If you don’t wear white in daily life, don’t wear it on your big day. Choose a more subtle shade instead.

2Choose an up-and-coming atelier

If you are looking for an edgy bridal gown on a budget but can’t quite afford the biggest brand name, why not try finding the next biggest brand name instead? Getting a gown designed by a brilliant fashion design student or other Project Runway proselytizers will not only save you serious cash, it will earn you serious cache when the brand later blows up. A Bridezilla like yourself has a natural eye for style, so troll your local design school open house or watch the local papers for fashion shows. Chances are, the starving student will be honored to give you a great deal on a stunning avant garde gown.

1Wear an heirloom gown.

We know this is tricky, but most Bridezilla’s do have a genetically-inherited sense of style. If you have a few fashion mavens in the family tree, don’t overlook grandma’s attic as your very own bridal boutique. Though not always feasible, wearing an heirloom gown is an incredibly elegant and sweet gesture that has so much more meaning (and money-saving potential) than a store-bought gown. If the whole gown isn’t going to work (hello, puff sleeves), try salvaging a few stylish portions and working them into your couture gown for a sentimental touch. Remember, you can always make it modern with chic accessories and hairstyles!

Bottega Veneta
Pronunciation: bah-tay-guh vin-etta

The prettiest cashmere shift dress.
From its original launch as an Italian luxury leather goods company to their late-nineties brand resurgence led by avant-garde London darling Giles Deacon, Bottega Veneta has had a fairly inconsistent past. It’s all smooth sailing these days, though, with Tomas Maier at the helm returning the brand to its original aesthetic of unbearably high-class luxury. Their most recent fashion week showing was a master class in understated elegance – we never thought we could care so much about beige – and the signature Intrecciato weave of their handbags still speaks of the kind of style that’s not purchased or elaborately constructed, but simply innate. In other words: we want.
If you’re not near a boutique, e-fashion giant net-a-porter.com has the largest selection of Bottega Veneta we’ve seen, including the cashmere shift dress gone impossibly right pictured above. And we think these woven leather Pompeii sandals are about as perfect as a honeymoon shoe can get.

Although we’re not immune to the occasional Anastasia-esque turn of fudging the truth of our origins, as Bridezillas we endeavor to make our well-bred beginnings completely unquestionable. While name-dropping the countesses in our ancestry is usually enough to quiet any naysayers, we find the best way to be deemed aristocratic is not to pretend it, but rather to become it. And short of marrying into royalty, the best way to do this is with fine manners.
Since most of us weren’t born and bred to be the perfectly polite ladies we’ve grown into, it’s been necessary to get a little help along the way. Thus we present the three best etiquette books for every stage of life: teenager, grown woman, and Bridezilla.

Tiffany’s Table Manners for Teenagers: As it turns out, that divine shade of blue really does belong anywhere – even your bookshelf. If you fear an early life of eating dinner in front of the television has foiled any chance of you having a proper idea of how to best conduct yourself at dinner out, pick up this slim volume for tips on which cutlery to use, whether to converse with the guest on your left or right, and the etiquette on asking for (or declining) seconds.
Manners, by Kate Spade: She’s responsible for your favorite handbag, best pair of kitten heels, and even your cake plate, and now you can turn to her for etiquette, too. Kate Spade’s slim guide to manners covers modern quibbles like cell phone etiquette and how best to behave at sample sales (hint: fistfights, even over the last pair of Marc Jacobs jeans in your size, are discouraged), so you’ll have a quick reference for how to behave wherever you go. (We like Occasions, too.)
Emily Post’s Wedding Etiquette, 5th Edition: Although Bridezillas are well-known for looking out for number one, we all still must remember that the people we step over on our way to wedding bliss may well eventually get back up for revenge. Now, we’re not saying you should compromise your vision of a tropical wedding even though pale Aunt Lucy hates the sun and travel, but this book will help you deal with her histrionics with the kind of tact that means you won’t be struck from the will. Have any other questions? Emily has the answer to everything.

Manolo Blahnik
Pronunciation: muh-no-lo blah-nick

The shiniest, most comfortable shoes you could possibly wear down the aisle.
In case you’re having trouble with the pronunciation up there, the real way to say Manolo Blahnik is in a low, reverent whisper. You have to earn your way up to talking Manolos – a la Carrie Bradshaw – like Blahnik is your best friend and not really the chief enemy of your bank account. In the meantime, revel in the history of one of the shoe world’s most well-know names: Manolo grew up in the Canary Islands, where he was raised on a banana plantation. From there he went on to study literature at the University of Geneva, and then art in Paris. At barely 31 he opened his first store in London and he hasn’t stopped making gorgeous shoes since. With a bio like that, how could the man help but exist at the forefront of fantasy fashion?
We love these silvery-white Metallic Slingback Pumps because they hold the balance between pristine pre-dyed white and nightclub-ready silver, so they’ll be shiny fabulous beneath your wedding dress while still ceremony-appropriate enough not to scandalize grandma. Can’t get enough Manolo? Pick up these Broach D’Orsay Pumps, too – something about the d’Orsay style is just eternally right for every formal occasion, and these topaz and gold pumps can take you from the rehearsal dinner to the honeymoon with no trouble at all.

First of all, we fully realize that in this online age, few things frighten Bridezilla quite like the uncanny sight of seeing her own handwriting-it’s almost as creepy as hearing a home phone ring! But nevertheless, handwritten thank-you cards are one of the last strongholds of old-world wedding civility remaining in our little cyber lives, and as such must be upheld.
Why? Because there are two kinds of brides in this world: classy bridezillas who write warm, witty and heartfelt wedding thank-yous, and those trashy cash-bar having, Clariol brides who can’t be bothered. Well let it be known Bridezilla has wasted too much perfectly good Mac Lipglass crossing the latter off her Christmas, Hannukah, and Kwanzaa (hey we love parties, ok?) invitation lists, and we’ll have no more of it! Thus, after the jump, please enjoy our swift guide to writing brilliant Bridezilla wedding thank-you cards.

1 Create a thank-you writing salon.

Bridezillas are all about ambiance (we are actually clinically allergic to bad ambiance and will break out), so before you begin this time-consuming task of thanking every lucky soul who attended your 250 person nuptial rager, make sure to set up a fabulous atmosphere. Big beaded throw pillows, sexy mood lighting, signature stamps and ample fabulous cardstock all help invoke the thank-you writing muses.Turban, totally optional. Bridezilla Bonus Tips: Definitely get the self-sticking stamps, or at least a teeny squeegie with which to administer postages. Remember, Bridezillas don’t lick stamps, not on this blog’s watch.

2 It’s not me,it’s you.

The cardinal rule of thank-you card writing-and the hardest for Bridezilla to follow-is not beginning the thank-you card with an “I” statement, or using this offensive article too much throughout the text. Always make sure the “you” statements in the card outnumber the amount of “i” statements, and you will make your guestzilla feel special and appreciated. (ie. Rather than “I absolutely loved…” go with “How thoughtful are you? Loved it!”)

3 No pre-printing please.

Even though you might think picking out a nice pre-printed card is perfectly standard, the wedding thank-you card is the exception to such Fresh Ink fare. Picking out a thank-you themed card is fine, but make sure there is plenty of blank space inside for a handwritten personal message and that you fill it accordingly. This is one instance where Hallmark definitely cannot say it for you.

4 Keep it short and chic.

While it is important not to cut corners on writing wedding thank-yous, be advised that short and sincere is better than long and pedantic. The Brilliant Bridezilla Thank You Note Elements are as follows
A) A mention of the specific gift.
B) What you will use it for.
C) Where applicable, how you and the giver can use it together.
Example:

“Thank you so much for the stunning Williams Sonoma Fondue Set. I can see many more chocolate strawberries in my future thanks to your thoughtfulness. You have to promise to come over soon and help me christen it! I’ll bring the Brie.”

5 Timing is everything.

No matter how well-written, a late thank-you note is a bad thank-you note, and very poor taste indeed! In fact, Bridezilla Statistics show that for each week a guest goes without a gift thank-you note, their heart hardens towards you 20%. This correlates to 20% less affection, 20% less reciprocal invitations, and-gasp! 20% less gifts given over time. So, the rule is no more than ten days for wedding shower gift thank-yous, and no more than two weeks post-honeymoon for wedding thank-you cards. Bridezilla Bonus Tip: The Bridezilla 20% Stat also works in the reciprocal. The sooner a guest gets a thank-you note, the more pleased and surprised they will feel, and this will reflect in future special occasion relations. Bottom line, timeliness is more important than perfection.

Bridezilla Bonus Tip: No combo cards please!

This is a Brilliant Bridezilla thank you card, not a Mcdonalds meal, so each thank-you note must be delivered a la carte. If someone was thoughtful enough to send you three gifts, three thank-you cards must ensue. The exception to the combo card rule is if you receive a combined gift from over ten people, such as co-workers or a church congregation. In this case a communal card posted on a bulletin board or somewhere visible is acceptable, but try and thank each person verbally if possible. Under ten though, and individual cards remain the way to go.
That’s it Bridezilla! Go forth and thank-you! And by all means, get your Groomzilla to help!

A Statement-Making Ungaro Gown

Emanuel Ungaro
Pronunciation: Eh-MAHN-wayl Oon-GAH-ro

Cocktail Cliff’s Notes: Born to Italian parents who had fled to France from Brindisi because of the fascist Italian government, Ungaro is Bridezilla’s most favorite fugitive fashionista ever. Embracing his metrosexual side early on, Ungaro took to sewing as a young boy. Decades later, his clothes are known for French flair with an almost surreal sensuality about them, including innovations like the chain mail dress and metal bustiers (fashionable and fierce, Bridezilla adores!) Ungaro’s look was popularized by models like Twiggy and Penelope Tree, and his visionary clothing lines are designed to remind every Bridezilla that “women are the joy of every man.” Attach that quote to Groomzilla’s next credit card bill!

Destination weddings? Absolutely, if they come along with destination shopping. Suburban malls start to lose their luster once you’ve been exposed to the dizzying high of a cluster of designer boutiques within strolling distance of each other. Carry salts for fainting spells and sacks and sacks of money, and read on…

Wynn Las Vegas, Las Vegas, NE (pictured): Sin City might not be the place you immediately think of for luxury, but with the amount of money going through this town on a regular basis, the high-rollers need to have a place to shop. That place is the Wynn, featuring boutiques by the likes of Chanel, Dior, Manolo Blahnik, Oscar de la Renta, and even Ferrari. Blow the whole wedding budget here and get married at the Tunnel of Love Drive-Through Chapel? Yeah, maybe we’re a little tempted.
The Avenue Montaigne, Paris: The honeymoon in Paris has at least a few days on the schedule marked for the Golden Triangle – the intersection of the Avenue Montaigne, the Champs-Elysees, and the Seine. Buy celebratory post-wedding jewelry at Bulgari, a honeymoon trousseau at Celine, Emanuel Ungaro, Calvin Klein, and Ines de la Fressange, and enough luggage at Louis Vuitton to take it all home in. Get room service delivered to your door in the Terrace Eiffel Suite at the Hotel Plaza Athenee and call it a bon jour.
Americana Manhasset, Long Island, NY: Part of Long Island’s Magnificent Mile, this shopping center has everything a North Shore princess could want. Make like Daisy Gatsby (after all, Manhasset inspired Fitzgerald’s fictional West Egg) and stock up on the goods at Dolce & Gabbana, Hermes, Burberry, and high-end department store Hirschleifer’s. We love that they have Americana-wide personal shoppers – if the future husband is Wall Street-bound, encourage a move to Manhasset, named by the Wall Street Journal as the best town for raising a family in the New York Metropolitan area.

Today’s Bridezilla Finishing School Lesson is: How to give appropriately gracious wedding gratuities to the good wedding help of this world. Remember, no matter how outrageous these wedding tips may seem at the time, they are a lot cheaper than legal fees and bought-off witnesses. Bridezilla Bonus Tip: Don’t scrimp when it comes to buying your wedding planner’s silence about the whole “I’ll tear up this contract and use it as wedding confetti” comment. You were just being wry, we know!
As always, we well-finished ‘zillas show our gratitude with a little more style than most. To create the trademark Bridezilla Gratuity Goody Bag, include: a cash tip in a sealed envelope, a hand-written thank you card, and either a wedding favor a wedding floral to take home.
Here’s how much to tip per wedding vendor:

Coat Room Attendants: 50 cents per guest. An extra dollar for every wince-worthy “nice rack” joke makes a well-bred Bridezilla out of you. Bridezillas with big weddings may do better to arrange a flat fee rather than a per-person price.
Limousine Driver: A tip of 15% . For getting Bridezilla to the church on time, and doubling as a super designated driver while you imbibed the entire mini-fridge on the way to the ceremony, 15% is the appropriate tip. Hint: Wise Bridezillas never tip twice; make sure the gratuity wasn’t already included in your final bill before you pay again upon parking.
Officiant: A $75 donation minimum is de riguer for the one who kindly altered your vows to read “For richer or richer.” On that note, $100 is really more becoming of a well-bred Bridezilla. There is a rumor officiants find tips offensive, but this is really just the equivalent of Bridezilla saying “you shouldn’t have” when someone gives her a wedding gift, when really she would have gutted them if they didn’t. If you are worried about appearing irreverent, opt for a church donation rather than a direct contribution.
Valets: 50 cents -$1.00 per car. Wise Bridezillas encourage car pooling and taxis, or getting married on remote private islands to keep per-car costs down.
Bartenders: 10% of total liquor bill. This one will lighten your Fendi wallet fast, we know, but it was worth it for the top-shelf good time!

Today’s lesson in The Bridezilla Finishing School features the fine art of flower-arranging. Flower arranging is a great way to bring beauty to your wedding and surrounding festivities,and honestly, what could help blow off wedding steam better than burying your hands in roses and lillies? But since this is Bridezilla.com, we wouldn’t settle for just any old flower arranging facts. Watch and learn how to make the hottest wedding flower mix on the market today: the classic, sexy and sophisticated French Spiral Bouquet. Hint: apparently it’s all in the leaf nodes!