Posted by Bridezilla on 19 Dec, 2008
It’s not quite New Years, but few bridezillas could top Spencer Pratt, so we’re giving him the Bridezilla of the Year Award. This year’s tiara trophy goes to the most manipulative, smarmiest, and most in need of a beat down bridezilla. From putting the kibosh on Heidi’s fairytale wedding fantasy to booting his future sister-in-law out into the cold (ok…so it’s California) to trying to destroy Lauren Conrad with sex tape rumors, Pratt’s brazen behavior makes him a certified bridezilla.
First Comes Love, Then Comes…Marriage?
In the Hill’s peak, Pratt took the couple’s already courtship to a new disgusting level and proposed. It was a cheesy, on-camera sunset proposal. Has he ever done anything off camera? He used every cliche in the proposal manual except “you complete me.” She slipped the ring on her finger because he didn’t know which hand to put it on. And… Spiedi was born! Part super villain. Part pseudo-celebrity. All Hollywood.
Pratt “married” his Barbie bride, on the beach Thanksgiving weekend in Cabbo, no guests aloud. Only enough paparazzi to make sure the tabloids could catch a whiff of this train wreck. Pratt and Montag insist the nuptials were purely spontaneous. “If I had planned it, I think I would’ve stepped up my ring game a little bit,” he allegedly told Ryan Seacrest. Except … because of license issues they aren’t legally married. They plan to legalize it courthouse style in an upcoming episode of The Hills. Whether you call it a spiritual commitment ceremony, or a Pratt publicity stunt, he’s still the Bridezilla of the Year. We’re not revoking his title. Bridezilla bonus tip: always check the state’s marriage license requirements before you elope.
Pratt’s Mysterious Milk Mustache
He has mysterious, frosty white facial hair that defies natural law. Exhibit A: he’s blonde. Exhibit B: his facial hair is snowy white. Conclusion: he must be Satan. It’s like a milk mustache gone sour. Shave it Spencer. And for the love of zilla never let it grow back. Forget facial hair – go bare until those golden locks turn frosty white.
Bridezilla’s Favorite Prattisms
About Montag’s musical flop: “Madonna, eat your heart out, Britney Spears, eat your heart out. I would say we have diamond records coming – they’re gonna sell 10-million plus.” Bridezilla’s take: We didn’t know they still made records. Let alone out of diamonds. Mental note: How can we get our mitts on a diamond record?
“I apologize for getting caught up in trash talking, but she brought up an emotional subject when she mentioned the soccer stuff…I’m secretly jealous of her. I want my face on a lunchbox, too.” Bridezilla’s take: Maybe if you didn’t have a bi-color beard your face would be on a lunchbox. Ever think of that?
Well, Spencer congratulations, you finally won an award. It might not be a diamond record but you’re the bridezilla of the year. How does it feel?