Posted by Bridezilla on 16 Oct, 2009
Every October, we check out the best in Halloween-themed weddings: cute costumes, candy corn favors, adorable bride-and-groom skeleton cakes. But this year, we turned in the cute for bone chilling.
Take a walk with bridezilla through our wedding haunted house.
But you may not get out alive…..
1. Clown Wedding
It’s the wedding of my nightmares. You can get away with wearing the red dress with the white veil. You can even get away with that circa 1999 arm cuff. But a clown nose?! A bridezilla understands the need for self expression, but does the term beautiful bride mean anything these days?
Please, at least tell us you put a disclaimer in your wedding invite. If I attended this wedding, I’d want to know well beforehand that the bride and groom were dressed like circus clowns, so I could RSVP a big, fat, red “No Thank You.” And perhaps even freakier, the couple’s friends mud-wrestled to kick of the marriage, which also puts this wedding into the Top Signs You are Too Young to Get Married category.
2. Zombie ‘Zilla
We get it. You are so unique and unbarred by tradition that you decided to dress up like a zombie on your wedding day.
Bride-to-groom: Just think, we’ll be that couple everyone talks about. Maybe we’ll even make it on a reality show.
Groom: I don’t know, you think anyone will eat sirloin after watching us get hitched in full leprosy makeup?
Bride: Good point, but the idea of a corpse bride is genius. What a way to get back at my penny-pinching father for not paying for our zombie themed reception. We’ll show him.
Groom: Do you think we should do the Thriller Dance at the Reception?
Bride: Nah, it’s overplayed.
3. True Blood (er..Love?)
This is a Vegas-Gothic-Vampire-Shot-Gun-ShinDig gone truly terrifying (not to mention tacky). Looks like a late ’90s prom picture. Bridezilla doesn’t do drive thru, but if we had to, we’d pass on the Gothic Wedding Chapel and pull right up to the Elvis one, thank you very much.
4. Suicide Suspension Soiree
This couple took their wedding to new weird heights with a suicide suspension trellis. This horrifying body modification wedding theme, shirtless groom, and female priest in the background aren’t the scariest parts — the fact that this couple may procreate is spine-tingling.
Can you imagine what the bride’s grandma thought? Most grandmas get huffy if the bride wears ivory. “Grandma, not only are we living together, I’m hanging from a body modification thingy during the ceremony. If you don’t like it, keep your eyes closed.”
5. Bride in a Box
If the bride has a pixie hair cut, striped-tights, and a black bird-cage veil, Gothic themes can be cute. A bridezilla would never choose such a dark theme, but show us a Gothic wedding that incorporates Manolos and we’re in. This coffin makes the bride look like she took the “Death Do Us Part” line a little too literal. And surprise, surprise, the couple pulled up in a hearse.
Mawhaha….and you thought bridezilla was scary.