Bridezilla Finishing School: How to Speak Chic French

Posted by on 26 Jun, 2007

Today Bridezilla is beaming to unveil our brand new feature “The Bridezilla Finishing School.” We recognize all bridezillas aren’t born with a diamond ring on their diapers, but we do believe every bridezilla can become a well-bred, elegant woman with decent training and discipline (*raps ruler*). Don’t let a little caste system stand in your way to becoming a bridezilla of noble breeding! Rather, enjoy our crash course in all things haute couture!

On that note, first thing’s first: Essential French phrases to make you look like the Bon Vivant Bridezillas that you are, even if you’ve never left Tuscaloosa!

Apres-ski-After skiing,”used to apply to social events, like the opposite of pre-funk.
BZ example: Bridezilla credits her legendary hot buttered rum recipe for the avalanche of apres ski soiree invites she receives every time she’s in Aspen.

Aperitif– cocktail
BZ example:If you buy Bridezilla an aperitif, she might give you an eskimo kiss.

Bete noir– the black beast, a pet peeve.
BZ example: Social climbing wedding crashers are Bridezilla’s bete noir.

Bon Vivant– A good “live-er” someone who lives well and knows how to enjoy life, a Bridezilla.
BZ example: From her exquisite taste in stilettos to her smashing page six bashes, Bridezilla is a Bon Vivant of the highest degree.

Chef d’oeuvre-Chief work, Masterpiece.
BZ Example: The Chantilly lace seven-foot train was the chef d’ouevre of Bridezilla’s wedding dress.

Comme il faut– as it should be, the proper way
BZ example:The guests in black tie were given black linen napkins at the reception, as is comme il faut.

Décolletage– lowered neckline
BZ example: The chic Bridezilla knows a lowered gaze is often more effective than displayed decolletage.

Gauche-awkward, tactless, lacking social grace
BZ Example:Thanks to the Bridezilla Finishing school, you’ll never get yourself in a gauche situation again!

Haute couture-“High Sewing” hand-tailored, not mass-produced
BZ example: Bridezilla knew off-the-rack wedding gowns were the reason God invented haute couture.

Objet d’art-a piece of art, an artistic statement
* remember never to pronounce with a “c”, that would be gauche ;)
BZ example: Bridezilla could never date someone who viewed blown glass as an objet d’art.

Sang-froid cold blood, the ability to maintain one’s composure.
BZ example: From silent auctions to quibbles with the MIL-zilla, Bridezilla’s steely sang-froid brought her everything she wanted.

savoir-faire– Having a knack for doing the graceful thing in every situation.
BZ example: Bridezillas know even the tackiest person can spend billions on a wedding, but savoir faire cannot be bought.

Soigne– polished, well taken care of
BZ example: Some would call Bridezilla’s groom henpecked; she would like to think he’s just soigne.

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