One of Bridezilla’s pet peeves is brides getting married while they are still wee fledgling zillas who’ve yet to taste the pleasures of life as independent ladies of the world. Yet, in the course of our own wedding planning, we are instantly irked to see teeny-tiny brides running around the wedding shops, acting like they are planning proms with their posse of stick figure friends. Despite being completely prepubescent and totally unready to make such a serious decision, we see these wee precious moments people, these cake-toppers-come-to-life proceed to dopplegang us through the mature serenity of our own wedding planning process. Well, we don’t like it. Thus, Bridezilla has put together ten ways to tell if you are too young to get married. They’re surprisingly simple, so why not read on?!
1) You are still in school. Sorry, but Bridezilla believes that the words “dorm room” and “dom perignon” just do not belong in the same conversation. High school, college and yes, grad-school are incredibly stressful, soul-searching times and trying to circumvent figuring out who you are by getting married is plain irresponsible. First comes diploma, then comes white dress. Trust us, you’ll thank us some day.
2) You want to go to Disneyland or some similar theme park for your honeymoon. It isn’t retro. It isn’t whimsical. If your personal fantasies correspond with that of a six-year-old screaming boy, you are so not ready to get married.
3) Your groom-to-be cuts out of the rehearsal dinner due to the opening of Napoleon Dynamite. We wish we were being euphemistic here, but unfortunately we actually know a girl whose fiance did this. Bridezilla had nightmares for months! Again, hazelnut chicken linguine and locker tater tots don’t mix! Never marry a man who would ditch you for a low-budget Mormon indie flick.Never.
4) Your choices for the processional include Norah Jones, David Gray, or Dave Matthews. Take our word for this, if you choose “Crash into Me” over “Canon in D” you are too young to get married and will be teased mercilessly by your peers during your adult years. You will cringe every time your wedding video is played. Better to save the happening hits for the bachelorette party, or at least choose the instrumental version of Nelly’s “Hot in Herre” for the ceremony.
5) You think the coin jar labeled “beer money” constitutes a wedding budget. Of course it’s possible to create a fine affair with low funds, but if you’re recycling your junior prom dress and wearing it as your wedding gown (again, a true horror Bridezilla has had to face!) perhaps it’s time to wait a few years until you and your husband-to-be are slightly more…financially mature.
6) Your “reception hall” is your one-bedroom apartment. This is an extension of #5 – cutting corners is acceptable, but squishing your family members onto your secondhand couch while the grocery store canapes heat up in the oven is simply beyond the pale. Show respect to your wedding party and yourself by putting the wedding off until you can at least secure space in a park. Preferably Central Park.
7) The wedding invitation of your dreams matches the birthday invitation of your fifth grade year. From cotton candy stripes to cupcakes, your wedding invitations are not the time to exercise your arrested sense of whimsy. If you’re tempted towards Kool-aid bright polka dots and powder-puff trimmings that scream “I got these at Targ-ay baby,” you’re too young to be making the sacred-est of vows. 
A No-Booze Reception. Regardless of what you’re officiants and in-laws may have told you, it’s time to set the record straight. Sparkling cider doesn’t “taste exactly the same” as champagne. While fruit punch is fine for the prom, fine wines are more the tune for weddings, even if you’re the teetotaling type. And if you’d need a fake I.D. to procure appropriate beverages – darling, you’re too young to be getting married.
9) Your DIY allowance extends beyond one or two lucky happenstances. Sure, having your sister do your makeup is fine – if she’s a makeup artist. If your graphic designer friend wants to make you some fabulous invitations as a gift, that’s lovely! (But check out their website first.) But if your DIY-happy acquaintances lack the professional background to create something truly unique for you, look elsewhere. If you’re even considering doing your own makeup or printing off your own invitations, STOP. You have every day of the rest of your life to do your own makeup, and homemade cards stopped being okay when your class projects stopped involving construction paper.
10) You’re marrying the guy you’ve been dating since you were sixteen. We all know the couple that met and married after a grade school hook- up. They look alike. They talk alike. They hang out with their families constantly and have lost all natural curiosity regarding the modern world. In short, pre-mature mating has made their social life (and individual self-growth) just stop.
Remember, the romanticism of only dating one person is a fiction best left to Mandy Moore movies and other monogamy propaganda. Everyone, yes that’s everyone, needs to date around at least a bit, even if they eventually return to their childhood sweetheart someday. You don’t have to canoodle with the entire Sigma Chi House to earn your Bridezilla stripes, but mark our words: if you don’t experience at least one whole-milk machiatto (hey, you’re being dangerous) with the handsome upperclassman who smiled at you across the quad, you are guaranteeing yourself a mid-life crisis at age 25 and very possibly, an affair. We’re just being honest.Bridezilla says:The fish of the sea are best sampled pre- ceremony, so do it now so you can know for sure later.
{ 21 comments… read them below or add one }
I was young and got married at 19. I am no longer married and pay half my salary to a woman that cheated on me even after she put me threw all heck and back during the wedding process that we charged on my credit cards. I’d like to offer some advice to anyone that qualifies for the above. PRENUPs! It can protect both of you.
@ joe
better advice would be to just not get married. There is actually very little benefit for men these days, and considering a large amount of marriages end in divorce, you might as well just save yourself the money and the stress and spend enough time with your partner to just be commonlaw married anyway.
Wow. You guys are so hypocritical and stupid.
People can’t listen to modern music at their modern wedding? We don’t get married in the 1800′s anymore, we don’t need to listen to old bullshit. Modern slow songs are fine, grow up.
What’s so bad about Disneyland? Maybe some people actually enjoy having fun you idiots.
And yeah, everyone has to have sex with the guy that they meet at the bar. Fucking whores.
Have a nice day.
This article is ridiculous and very immature. DIY invitations, favors and other such things are very practical and reasonable – in no way, shape or form, is being cost effective a bad thing or a marker for being “too young” to get married.
In fact, I consider it ridiculous that a couple goes out and spends gobs of money on wedding materials. It’s only one day. Spending thousands of dollars on that one day has a severe impact on the future.
Wow, what an amazingly shallow article. There are many good measures of personal maturity and readiness for marriage… the size of your wedding budget and your willingness to serve alcohol at the reception are not among them.
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I forgot that being 21 is when your legal to drink alcohol (not in most places on earth…=18) and amazingly thats the legal wedding age. n*SHOCKING*
Also i dont think sleeping around is something you need to aquire. (no wonder STD’s are still around).
I personaly dont think age has anything to do with marriage. As long as you are 18 and legal to do so, it all comes down to maturity and commitment.
I think every couple should seek a councelor before wedding to outline each individual’s expectations.
Its not about the invitations or a pass on your CD selection.
Ridiculously shallow and immature article. How old are you? Not that it matters, by what you wrote here, your maturity level definitely shows. Or lack thereof.
What authority do you have?
Age is not a determining factor in maturity and whether you’re ready for marriage. There are 42 y/o women/men who are STILL not mature enough to make a commitment towards marriage.
I married at 21. So, I guess I was too young right? But guess what? At 21 I had my Bachelor’s degree and by 22 I had begun my career so did my husband. My maturity level was much more than any other 21 y/o as my committment towards things that matter was present. Mocking couples for being faithful and actually being different than today’s overly sexed society? You’re probably trying to make yourself feel better for all the guys you’ve let sweet talk you into bed and that’s really pathetic. NEWS FLASH: I’m sure your way will get you a guy, for the night, but I doubt you’ll get someone to actually put a ring on your finger.
Listen, get off of your computer and find out what really matters in life because right now, you have no clue.
And I feel sorry for you.
So I’ve only had one boyfriend. I love him. I shouldn’t marry him? There are a lot of people who only had that one boyfriend or girlfriend and made it. Like my parents, for example. Still together after 30 years.
Oh, and neither my boyfriend or I drink. Why spend money on alcohol? Besides, for those that are going to be invited–I don’t want anyone drunk on our special day. Because I don’t want to drink at my reception I am too immature to get married? How shallow.
This article is extremely rude and immature because you are judging the couple’s readiness to get married on superficial items and actions. If the two people are in love, are of legal age, and are willing to seriously commit their lives to each other their wedding choices should not dictate how other people view the seriousness of their vows. You’re perspective is hypocritical because you spend an extreme amount of money on your wedding because you believe it is what you should do, and then you feel you have the right to pass judgment on those who may not have as much money to spend, automatically making them wrong. This whole article is wrong, just wrong.
This article is extremely offensive and lacks maturity. I am 20 and getting married and my wedding has none of what you have listed above…furthermore, my fiance and I have raised the money ourselves, planned every detail ourselves, and have more of our post-wedding lives figured out than most thirty year olds that I know. This article makes it sound as if people who can’t go all out for a shallow and expensive wedding shouldn’t get married. How is that a mature view of what is considered one of the most important decisions one will make? How about being unable to keep it in your pants is a sign of immaturity? Or needing to guzzle mind-numbing amounts of champagne at the reception (because you are 21 and you can) is a sign of immaturity? Or how about the belief that the wedding is more important than what comes afterwards and your friends’ gifts to you are only worthwhile if they are expensive is a sign of immaturity? Grow up, people! There is a MARRIAGE after the wedding that is far more important than ANYTHING you have listed above. My fiance and I have budgeted ourselves so that we can put a downpayment on a HOUSE after the wedding…but I guess we are too immature to be married because neither of us sleeps around and we can’t drink like fish at the reception. Gee, I really need to reconsider where my values lie. Thanks for the epiphany!
This article is extremely offensive and lacks maturity. I am 20 and getting married and my wedding has none of what you have listed above…furthermore, my fiance and I have raised the money ourselves, planned every detail ourselves, and have more of our post-wedding lives figured out than most thirty year olds that I know. This article makes it sound as if people who can’t go all out for a shallow and expensive wedding shouldn’t get married. How is that a mature view of what is considered one of the most important decisions one will make? How about being unable to keep it in your pants is a sign of immaturity? Or needing to guzzle mind-numbing amounts of champagne at the reception (because you are 21 and you can) is a sign of immaturity? Or how about the belief that the wedding is more important than what comes afterwards and your friends’ gifts to you are only worthwhile if they are expensive is a sign of immaturity? Grow up, people! There is a MARRIAGE after the wedding that is far more important than ANYTHING you have listed above. My fiance and I have budgeted ourselves so that we can put a downpayment on a HOUSE after the wedding…but I guess we are too immature to be married because neither of us sleeps around and we can’t drink like fish at the reception. Gee, I really need to reconsider where my values lie. Thanks for the epiphany!
Wow, Most of the people responding to this article either must be that young and took it personally, Living in a Redneck hole, or overly religious. They frown at Modern Music because think of the 80s people. Did you want to walk down the isle to Billy Idol screaming in the mic? They ask you to look into something classic.
Drinking Age, AWWWWWWWWW, WAHHHHH …. People, this article is trying to tell people to explore the world because if they are so young, they haven’t and the marriage WILL end in divorce when they see a new Hunk in their line of vision. Look at High School Relationships! Most men don’t mature until they are in their 30s!!
As for the extra dating… ITS DATING!!! Dating does not always have to end in sex!! If sex is insisted on EITHER side SHE is probably a slut and for HIM well, if he insists SOOOO much, then thats all he probably wants.
Some of you people are just being so stupid about this. This article is probably a parents dream to read. Give your kids some standards because this isn’t the 1950s anymore. Most kids are spoiled rotten little brats anyway.
One more thing, Little girls get married for the sake of GETTING MARRIED. Gentlemen, make sure the girl actually loves you and isn’t crazy materialistic. Remember everyone, girls Dream about the day they get married, they don’t have the attention span to see the future.
One more piece of advice, kids. Trying getting married in front of a judge then have the wedding a while later. Get a taste (for the girls), and have a lawyer ready (guys).
Ridiculous article, most likely written from a lonely divorced middle aged woman. Not everyone has to go by the fantasy weddings that is portrayed in modern day society. A wedding is a personal choice between the couple, and if they love each other and are mature and have thought deeply enough to realise the committment they are willing to take in the future and for the rest of their lives, then leave them to it. If a couple wants to get married then let them do it themselves, however they want.
Don’t listen to this ****ing old hag.
I thought this article was extremely rude! I fit most of these points, and i don’t think they are in any way proper judgment on if someone is ready to get married. I am still in school, as is my fiance. We are both going to college and many people in my classes are either married, or are soon to be married. I see nothing wrong with going to Disneyland for your honeymoon. Your honeymoon is a time to have fun with your new life partner, and what better place to do it than Disney? I also see nothing wrong with having modern music! There will be no alcohol at all at my reception. Due to our religion, we cannot have alcohol. Not everyone not having alcohol is too young(though I am underage, but my fiance is not). Not having alcohol is a personal decision. There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with doing things yourself! Its cheaper and more practical! No matter your age! That’s just ridiculous! No need to spend thousands of dollars on things that you could do yourself that make it more personal and look just as good! I also have been dating my fiance since i was 16. There is nothing wrong with marrying someone you’ve been with for a long time! That actually makes sense! Just because not all high school sweethearts work out, does not mean you should say you should not marry them if you’ve been with them since you were 16!
I’m only 18. I fit most of these signs. I’m still getting married and I’ll do just fine.
Wow. This article is ridiculous. I’m 19 years old and I am in love with my boyfriend and high school sweetheart. Neither of us are in any way immature just because of our age. That is stereotypical. We love each other, we respect each other, and we don’t want anyone else. So we shouldn’t get married? I don’t need to date around my college campus to know who is right for me. a family friend got married at age 15 and was married almost 50 years until her husband unfortunately passed away. Was it a mistake for them to marry because they didn’t date around? No. Also, being cost effective is not cheap, it’s smart. In this economy, not all of us are rich enough to spend a couple hundred dollars on our makeup.
Wow. That article is absolutely ridiculous.
First off, you can’t get married in graduate school? My fiance and I are pursuing PhD’s. Which take between 4 and 7 years, full time. These are after two-year MS degrees and four-year bachelors degrees. So we have to wait until we’re in our mid-thirties to get married, or we’re “too young”? Hahaha.
And modern music can’t be part of a reception? That’s truly a gem. I wasn’t aware the music of Norah Jones is going to be ridiculous to my peers in a few years.
I plan to have quite a bit of DIY happening. I’m not sure why I have to have my makeup done if I don’t feel like it, or why it’s not alright to refrain from blowing a ton of money on ONE DAY that I could use on other necessities.
And guess what? I freaking love cupcakes. Guess I’m too young to get married!
Better put it off ’til I’m 40 and live to regret loving a guy I love. But hey, I’ll get to “date around a bit”! Such fulfillment.
I have to agree with many posts above, this article is rude and ignorant. My boyfriend and I have been together since we were 17, and we’ll both be 20 this year. He’ll be a cop in the next 6 months, and I’ll finish up my teaching degree… I don’t see why we couldn’t get married while one of finishes school, if we did wait, we would be in our thirties.
I can not see fulfillment in dating around, so that I may give pieces of my broken heart to the wrong guys till I have nothing left to give to the man that it is meant for? But I guess that type of christian thinking makes me too immature to make a life long comittment.
And I don’t think me walking down the aisle to a string quartet is neither me nor my boyfriends style. I was thinking something more along the lines of Jack Johnson…
I think alot of couples out there need to keep their heads out of articles like these. Everyone is so obsessed with divorce statistics that it’s probably keeping people from getting married, if we just listened to our hearts to feel what is right for our lives, everyone would be a lot happier.
other than that… just wow… Oh, and I’d rather do somethings DIY and have friends contribute, making it more special, rather than hireing over priced and underqualified strangers to do it for me. I’d rather put the money towards a down payment, then spend a thousand dollars on wedding invitations.
I would really like to know how old this “Miss B” (the author) is. Have you ever been married? Let alone in love? Maybe most young people are too immature to be married, but then again, how many 19 and 20 somethings do you see running down the aisle? Most people that age are out partying it up and making decisions they’re going to regret ten years from now. I’m 20 and engaged, I’ve never dated anyone else, nor has he. We live together, we do all our finances together, we’re practically already married. But according to you I should call him my boyfriend for the next ten years until we’re “old enough”?
Most of the people responding to this article are taking it in the wrong way. They are pointing out tiny little details in an attempt to make the entire thing seem completely wrong… when in fact, though the author of this article may have chosen a few questionable examples to make their point, the idea is spot on.
In order to have a successful marriage, each partner needs to know who they are, what they believe in, and what they want to do with the lives. Most college students change their major at least once in their 4-5 year education… that’s an 18 year old unsure of what they want to do with their life, where they want to aim their education, what sort of career they want to have… someone who is still trying to figure out the very basic aspects of who they are simply is not ready to commit themselves to another human being in a way like marriage.
You can’t bypass your youth and jump straight into a commitment like marriage… that is extremely immature. If you aren’t ready for life, you are ready to get married.
The comments about alcohol… the author doesn’t mean that if you chose to have soda over champagne you are immature… she means if you are not OLD ENOUGH to buy alcohol legally, you need to rethink whether or not you’re old enough to be considering getting married at all. Alcohol is prohibited to young people for reasons we are already familiar with… If you aren’t mature enough to drink, do you really think you’re mature enough for marriage? Children? A mortgage?
About the modern music… it’s fine to have popular music played at your wedding.. The author is talking specifically about the “important” music, like what you walk down the aisle to. Weddings are full of tradition – there is actually a list of songs most brides chose to play during their procession. The reason behind this is because these pieces of music are tried and true, traditional, classic, and they ALWAYS will be. Do you want your marriage to be an example of a fad or what was in style? When you think back to your wedding 20 years from now, you might feel silly if you chose to march down the aisle to Lady Gaga.
The comments about wedding budgets fall into the same category as the music selection. This is your wedding – yes, it is only one day… but it’s also supposed to happen ONE time. This is your ONLY wedding… assuming you understand that weddings are for life… do save money where you can, but don’t be cheap. The wedding ceremony is meant to represent your future, as well as to kick off the start of the rest of your life. It’s a symbolic investment. If you don’t have the funds to make this day memorable and beautiful, you need to wait. If you can’t even afford a wedding ceremony, how exactly do you plan on financing the rest of your life?
The comment about marrying the guy you’ve been with forever… Don’t get me wrong, I am marrying my first love… but most people DO fall in love more than once in their lifetime. Young people need to explore. You need to meet people, hang out, “try on” a couple of guys. This doesn’t mean act like a slut; it means to keep your options open. You never know what else there is out there for you until you spend the time to explore. Marrying the one and only guy you ever fall in love with is like buying the first house you see just because it was in your budget… you wouldn’t limit yourself in any other aspect of your life, so why do it with love? Honestly, you’ve got to kiss a few frogs before you find your prince.
In short, this article is more informed than it might appear at first glance. I might guess that those of us who immediately come out saying how offensive and rude this article is… probably are the young, inexperienced people it’s aimed at.
Marriage is a beautiful, wonderful thing. You don’t need to rush into it. It’s not ever going to go away, and anything worth having is worth waiting for.
By the way, if you LOVE someone, they are PERFECT for you, and you will NEVER find anyone better, what difference does it make to wait to get married? Spend some time on yourself, and marry that person in 5 years – they’re going to love you just as much then, and if they don’t… well then aren’t you glad you didn’t jump into something before you were actually ready?
I like how people come to a site called Bridezilla and then trash an article that is right within a Bridezilla personality. That’s like going to a Catholic Church’s site and condemning them for writing about acting holy or going to a foreign country and getting all bent out of shape because they don’t speak English. Sorry, but I agree with Miss B- while the maturity level lies different with each individual, the facts are- DIVORCE is HIGH amongst couples who wed too YOUNG. Under 20yrs of age- 27% chance of divorce, 21-24yrs- 36% chance of divorce vs 25-29yrs 16% chance and 30-34 8% chance.