Posted by jaelithe on 19 Dec, 2012
There are wedding songs no one ever wants to hear again (can I get a “Hey Ya” for “the Macarena”?). Some songs are just obviously wrong, like Jay Z’s “99 Problems.” And then there are the songs you love but don’t realize how completely inappropriate they are until you are dancing with your minister at your wedding.
“Papa Don’t Preach” by Madonna
Madonna sure was kicky and independent back when she had short hair and less conspicuous muscles. You may remember her giving Danny Aiello what’s what in the music video. You may not remember that the lyrics are all about an unplanned pregnancy and whether she should get an abortion. Actually, considering “Like a Virgin” and “This Used to be My Playground,” we’re gonna suggest you steer clear of the Material Girl altogether.
“I Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For” by U2
We love U2—they’ve written some of the sweetest love songs of all time. But this song about searching for your spirituality is not what your in-laws want to hear you singing along with. Trust us. Especially since it could come off sounding like you are still looking for the real love of your life. And don’t substitute “The Sweetest Thing” either—the title is pure irony.
“The One I Love” by REM
There aren’t a lot of lyrics in this song, but the line “A simple prop to occupy my time” caught our eye. Um, yeah. This song goes out to the rebound girl you had a fling with when you and the fiancée were on a break, not to your blushing bride.
“Crash Into Me” by The Dave Matthews Band
Sure the song sounds pretty romantic. And it gets a little racy (but not too racy) with lines like “hike up your skirt a little more.” But if you knew the song was about a peeping tom, would you still want it to be the tune for your first dance? We didn’t think so.
“Every Breath You Take” by The Police
Sure we all want to be wanted. And maybe some of us fantasize about being watched. But this song is flat-out creepy. If your relationship is defined by this song, don’t go to the altar, go to a counselor. Love doesn’t have to hurt.
“Hit Me Baby One More Time” by Britney Spears
Speaking of love that hurts… we like to believe that dear Britney meant “come back baby” when she said “hit me.” But she’s kind of fragile and we just can’t be sure. Abuse ain’t romantic, so leave this song off your playlist to avoid giving anyone the wrong idea.