Destination Bridezillas: 9 Things to Pack for Paradise

Posted by on 26 Jun, 2009

destination weddings.pngThe destination bridezilla not only desires the perfect wedding, she wants it in paradise. She’s a bridezilla to the extreme — only ocean front will do. And who else but a bridezilla would make her family travel thousands of miles just to see her get hitched?
We celebrate these worldly bridezillas, who are unafraid to trade in their Manolos for flip-flops and get married where they want, the way they want. Destination bridezillas, this blog is for you!

9 Things Every Destination Bridezilla Should Pack

9.) Antacid/Pepto. If you’re headed to far away lands, the cuisine (not to mention wedding-day jitters) might upset your delicate American stomach. No classy bridezilla wants to be seen red-faced over the commode on the Big Day (unless you’re bridezilla Valerie). Pack travel-size pepto in your purse (nowhere near your wedding clothes) and an antacid.
8.) Sunscreen and moisturizer. Lobster should be the entre, not the bride. Unless you’re getting hitched at the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland, you’ll need to slather up. When you do tan, strive for sun-kissed, not splotchy or leathery. Remember, the tropical sun is more fierce than a bridezilla who just found out her venue ran out of champagne. We recommend NARS Skincare to keep that bridal glow even when you’re in the sun.
7.) Moisture-wicking Headband. Humidity can turn your chic coif into a frizzy ‘fro. Bring a sweat-proof headband, like this one from fit2bmom and keep your hair off your face while doing your makeup or lounging at the beach.
6.) Sexy Bikini. While basking in the sun, bask in your new brideness. This sexy bikini, as seen on “The Hills”, titles your rump with rhinestones, so everyone knows you’re Just Married. Even though you’re not Heidi, you might still get the red-carpet treatment from your resort.
5.) Wedding gown. Do not check your wedding gown with your bags! Lost luggage means your couture gown could find its way back to Milan. Bring that million-dollar baby on the plane. Most airlines have a place to hang garments, so carry it with you and make sure it’s secured safely in the hotel before you go gallivanting.
4.) Groom’s tux and shoes. Unless you’re headed to a wedding world, like Las Vegas, make sure your groom gets his tux and shoes beforehand. Do not let him wait until the last minute. Some places, the Caribbean especially, are abundant with wet suits and Hawaiin shirts, but severely lacking when it comes to tux rentals. You don’t want your groom-to-be to marry you while donned in a touristy tee.
3.) Itinerary. Spontaneous types (ahem) despise itineraries. But you’re planning a destination wedding, don’t get on the plane without an idea of what you’ll be doing on what days. An itinerary prevents your monster mother-in-law from dragging you off to see the museum of flightless birds, when you could be sipping umbrella drinks with your besties.
2.) Documents. Everyone witnessed Heidi and Spencer’s first wedding publicity stunt, which occurred under the guise of “Our first marriage wasn’t legal in Mexico because we didn’t have the proper documents.” (sigh) Check license restrictions and corral all your marriage documents ahead of time: license, passports, birth certificates, divorce papers, etc.

1.) swine flu destination weddings.jpgJewel-Encrusted, Swine-Flu Proof Mask.
Even though it’s been overshadowed by Michael Jackson’s death and Mark Stanford’s affair, the swine flu is still alive and well. If you planned your destination wedding long before the swine flu reared its ugly snout, bring a jewel-encrusted mask (yes, bridezilla does everything in style, including avoiding deadly illnesses.) Also, bring handsanitizer. Don’t think the swine flu is any match for bridezilla? Check out this article about a swine flu that crashed a Chicago wedding.

Leave a Comment