Posted by jade on 08 Oct, 2008
Bridezilla rates the Howard Stern Wedding
The facts according to ‘Zilla:
Famous Last Words:
“It’s a nice feeling that we get along great,” Stern, 54, explained in 2006 of his hesitation to get married again. “We’re very happy, and I don’t want to f— it up.”
Bridezilla Bonus Tip: A lot of people are surprised Beth Ostrosky was able to finagle the reluctant shock jock into marrying her. We’re not! Ostrosky obviously read Bridezilla’s foolproof guide to “Inducing I Do.”
Howard reportedly proposed to knockout model Ostrosky in bed a day or two before Valentine’s Day 2007.
Bridezilla rating: Boo Hiss.The pre-boning proposal is a major no-no, and totally negates the sentimental holiday factor. Wedding rings and the wet spot don’t mix!
Bridezilla Bonus Tip: Plan a proposal story your Bridezilla won’t have to “bleep” when telling the grandzillas.
Bridezilla Rating: Boo Hiss! Having smoking hot Conseulos as the officiant is a direct slap in the face to the “good sense of humor” Howard Stern. Ostrosky called Consuelos her “spiritual counselor” Which Bridezilla would win in a bitch fight?
The Bridezilla Scale continues after the break, so read on for coverage of the wedding gown, the guests, the menu and the worst honeymoon ever…
Jimmy Kimmel read a poem, Dixie Chick Natalie Maines wrote a song for the occasion, Billy Joel sang “The Stranger”, and 1970’s songstress Phoebe Snow sang “You Send Me.”
Bridezilla Rating: Brilliant! We love a good wedding variety show, and this one sounds like fun.
Le Cirque restaurant in Manhattan, NY.
Bridezilla rating: Brilliant! Purrr….Le Cirque is le chic! According the The New York Times “Le Cirque means luxury. Le Cirque equals privilege. Le Cirque connotes a culinary pecking order by which the rich and famous get the best tables and others get to breathe the same air. The name has so much iconic resonance that it’s molded into the butter on every table, stamped in gold on the chocolate flecks in some desserts and scrawled in red across the restroom towels.” Squee! Sounds like a Bridezilla’s natural habitat to me!
They happy couple served tuna tataki, scrambled eggs with white truffles and striped bass with caviar — washed down with wine and champagne.
Bridezilla rating: Meh. Bridezilla eats scrambled eggs and champagne for breakfast. We expected better. It’s Cirque, not Seuss!
A white Marquesa gown with cutaway back and sides.
Bridezilla rating: A qualified Brilliant. Girlfriend looks good, but we think having your dress designed by someone recently married to an extra-old man might be bad luck.
Howard tattooed Beth’s initial on his ringfinger, while Beth got an “H” on her wrist.
Bridezilla rating:Boo Hiss. While Bridezilla does enjoy Groomzilla’s heroically suffering pain on her behalf, the whole tattoos thing is a little too Guns’ N’ Roses for us. Plus, we thought Jay-Z and Beyonce’s “IV” was a little more creative.
And now for the Facts According to Zilla Finale….
Biggest Overall Case of Wedding Denial:
In response to a question about the star-studded guest-list, Ostrosky responded “It’s not like that. It’s spiritual.” This in light of a guest list that included Jimmy Kimmel, Sarah Silverman, Adam Carolla, John Stamos, Joan Rivers and Barbara Walters at a restaurant who’s name is French for “circus.” Pretty spiritual, Bridezilla supposes, if you worship at the church of E True Hollywood Story.
Biggest Clash of the Guestzillas:
Rebecca Romijn reportedly forbade hubby Jerry O’Connell from attending the Stern-Otrosky nuptials because her ex John Stamos would be there. Meow! Like a good Groomzilla, O’Connell acquiesced and stayed home. Wa-push!
Worst Honeymoon Ever:
The day after the wedding, Ostrosky reportedly ran an 19-mile practice run in preparation for a November triathlon. Bridezilla says, you can have your supermodel body Beth. We’ll be spending our honeymoon on a raft in the tropics with intravenous cocktails, naked.