The Long-Awaited Bridezilla Rebuttal

Posted by on 02 Jul, 2009

After an overwhelming response to the hate mail, we had to draft a rebuttal. First of all, I called the letter hate mail because the writer despises bridezillas so much he felt the need to draft a letter (probably from his mom’s basement) about how weddings aren’t special. And Passive-aggressive, semi-hate letter wouldn’t fit in the title.
And really, we think the writer did a great job pointing out the shortcomings of some brides (notice he left out the grooms). Our bridezilla definition is “exceptionally attractive, confident women who know what they want…”. He’s writing about the bulging-eyed, tantrum-throwing variety.
There’s a fine line between a woman who wants the perfect day (nothing wrong with that), and the woman who takes an axe to her centerpieces because she didn’t like them. Since there’s some confusion, we’re responding only to points made in regard to women who want the perfect wedding. Not the entitled psychos who (we all agree) should be left at the alter.

Exhibit A. Why Bridezillas Obsess Over Weddings

We don’t want to look like this chick.
wedding-breast -tacky weddings.jpg
Photo from Tacky Weddings
If we didn’t care about our weddings, if we didn’t obsess over every detail, there’s a good chance the whole thing would crumble like the Roman Empire. It’s true that no one cares more than the bride. So yes, we want a dress that makes us look beautiful and we’ll try on hundreds to get it. And we obsess over the tiny details because we want it to be a good time for us and our guests.
Who cares? There’s no reason to take personal offense to it, as if brides everywhere were killing toddlers or mugging grandmothers. It’s their soiree and money to spend. Weddings stimulate the economy. If a bride wants the big party, let her have it.

Exhibit B. A Save the Date Card Isn’t a Court Order

If you think weddings are a chore, stay at home

This is an example of what the bridezilla hater called “hyping weddings way too long.” Looks by the preview like this wedding will be a rockin’ good time. And Save the Date cards aren’t to made to hype the wedding, they’re courtesy.
There’s dancing, cake smashing, an open bar, and sometimes at bridezilla weddings, a brawl that ends in a tasering. What else do you have going on? Grow a pair and R.S.V.P “No” if you don’t want to go — a Save the Date card isn’t a court order. No one likes a wedding wet blanket (the guy sitting in the corner, eying the bridesmaids and going on about how much he hates weddings). We’d rather you not come if our wedding is a chore.
Don’t get a gift. Don’t celebrate the couple’s happiness and don’t wonder where all your friends are when your bride finally arrives…in the mail.
It’s a party. Have fun.

Exhibit C. Excitement Isn’t Contagious

So shut the f*#k up about your own life
swine flu destination weddings.jpg
A wedding celebrates the commitment of a lifetime together. We agree that it’s not as exciting to everyone else — how could it be? But neither is your baby, your promotion, your new BMW, your gold count in W.O.W… nothing in your life is as exciting to everyone else as it is to you.
We’re forced to see baby pictures and muster a smile when someone shows a video of their kid who (o.m.g.) just mastered the art of crawling. Excitement may not be contagious, but you can fake it for the happy couple just like your girlfriends faked their orgasms.
If you can’t do that, maybe you’re the one with a problem. I can think of many worse offenses than being excited and talking about your own wedding. If she blabs on and on (it happens) just change the subject. And if bridezillaS, the TV show whips you into a letter-writing frenzy, change the channel. It wouldn’t be on air if it didn’t have an audience.

“50 percent of marriages end in divorce…think about whether or not your family would be equally excited to shell out 30K or more for you to wager on a coin flip”

Your favorite football team has a 50 percent chance of losing the big game. But fans still go out, cheer for them, and some even wager on them. Hope for the best and wish the couple well. It might not be a special day to the whole world, but it is a very special day for the bride and groom.

Leave a Comment

  1. On 02 Jul, 2009, Jade said:

    “When your bride finally arrives….in the mail.” AWWW SNAPZ. Classic.

    Reply to this comment
  2. On 06 Jul, 2009, Heath said:

    Thanks for the shout-out Amanda! Love the site, totally blogrolled! Arn’t weddings gone bad the best?!

    Reply to this comment
  3. On 06 Jul, 2009, Ariana said:

    “your gold count in W.O.W… nothing in your life is as exciting to everyone else as it is to you.” This is classic!

    Reply to this comment
  4. On 08 Aug, 2009, Williams said:

    ” Exhibit A” I think the dress is the worst dress ever. Why would you wear a dress like that? You have no class at all you look so stupid. Typical white girl. And the husband is just as dumb as his bride. SAD

    Reply to this comment
  5. On 30 Aug, 2009, John said:

    I like that because the guy doesn’t like really obscenely obsessive women he must live in his parents’ basement. Such a clean and well-positioned jab! Well done! Were that my sarcasm was so witty.
    Ahem.
    This whole thing is ridiculous. Why not post the stats of how many of the brides seen on the show are now still married? I’d love to see that. I’m sure it doesn’t even come CLOSE to the natl. avg. 50%. No way.
    These brides obviously don’t respect themselves (because anyone with any shred of confidence or self-respect wouldn’t obsess about meaningless details), so how can they respect anyone else? Especially their spouse. If they really cared about the family they were starting, why would they spend more for a 4-hour ceremony than they would on the next three years of their life together? Ridiculous The only thing that makes me think that any of the marriages might last is that the grooms are such layabout pushovers that they will let themselves get run over all the time.
    Let me reiterate. It is NOT O.K. to be self-entitled. Especially on your wedding day. It is NOT about YOU. It is about your new family.
    Do they talk in school/church/home about vanity, greed, gluttony, envy, avarice, etc? I think I’ve heard all those terms somewhere before, other than observing them from the so-called “exceptionally attractive women” (who, in actuality are low-class overweight slobs with borderline personality disorders) on your show.
    Oh and I love the part that points out the time-tested fact that if the bride weren’t OCD that the wedding would “crumble like the Roman empire”. So clever! Are you sure you wrote that? Wow. You are right, in my various wedding attendances I’ve yet to see a wedding that didn’t have a ‘zilla at the helm that went well. Oh wait, yes I have. In fact, I think that screaming and yelling at people probably LESSENS the likelihood that the wedding (and the marriage) will work out, not increases it.
    I understand that you have a program to defend, but holding vices up on a pedestal in the name of commercialism is unethical at best. At worst, it’s pretty close to evil.
    Oh, and it’s a good thing that you have a really supportive fan base. The whole 2 comments in support of your argument versus the 20-something-odd in support of the original post certainly speaks for your credibility, wisdom, and apparent moral highground.
    Look, I can use sarcasm too! Maybe I’ll be a groomzilla. Then I’ll start a show about to make everyone feel better about themselves!

    Reply to this comment
  6. On 31 Aug, 2009, John said:

    This comment is in response to John’s comment from August 30th, 2009 at 2:23 AM:
    As a fellow John, I have to say that your comment gives John’s everywhere a worse name.
    Some words of wisdom for you to keep in mind the next time you have the urge to leave a long attacking comment on a blog post entry:

    1. Clear and concise point. Where’s your beef? Do you have a problem with the writer’s sarcastic tone, or maybe you’re upset because the Bridezilla show is popular? Maybe you’re just upset at the world in general? Either way, I have no idea who you are upset at, just that you’ve decided to attack someone whose job it is to report on Bridezilla. If that’s your goal, well done – you’ve succeeded in the most convoluted way possible(is my sarcasm evident?).
    2. Sarcasm is best communicated verbally: As the last statement makes blatant. If you want to be sarcastic, you’re better off spewing it from your mouth. Preferably to your friends, if you have any
    3. All major blogs screen comments. When you see a bunch of comments railing a particular blog post, it is usually because the author is mature and open enough to be WILLING to publicly publish those dissenting opinions. If they didn’t want jerks to see it, they’d just not publish it. Whenever I see a post with lots of negative criticism, it makes me respect the blog post author, because it indicates they’re not afraid to let people speak their mind about what they’ve written. That’s a low blow to say that this Bridezilla author is wrong because they have so many dissenting comments against them.
    4. Don’t attack an author’s writing if you don’t have the cojones to give them your email address: This is especially true if they’re a responsible blogger practicing #3 on this list(which this author clearly is). You left a spiteful message anonymously. That’s like punching a guy in the back of the head, then running away when he turns around with clenched fist to see who popped him.

    It’s hard enough being a writer these days with the internet and journalism as it exists. To have to cope with people that attack you for writing posts they disagree with is something that a writer shouldn’t have deal with. To me, it’s the lowest form of internet contribution.

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  7. On 30 Jan, 2010, Mark said:

    I have to say that the “Passive-aggressive, semi-hate letter” completely blows away the “Rebuttal”, heck, even John’s comment blows it away…
    Say, I’d like to see the percentage of Bridezillas that are still married, and how many are divorced, can you publish that? Mebbe it’s on this site somewhere, I’ll scan around.
    Don’t get me wrong, I love the show…and I’m appalled at the behavior of most of these brides and disgusted with their push-over hubbys…so, keep making them!
    Thanks!

    Reply to this comment