Posted by Bridezilla on 02 Jul, 2009
After an overwhelming response to the hate mail, we had to draft a rebuttal. First of all, I called the letter hate mail because the writer despises bridezillas so much he felt the need to draft a letter (probably from his mom’s basement) about how weddings aren’t special. And Passive-aggressive, semi-hate letter wouldn’t fit in the title.
And really, we think the writer did a great job pointing out the shortcomings of some brides (notice he left out the grooms). Our bridezilla definition is “exceptionally attractive, confident women who know what they want…”. He’s writing about the bulging-eyed, tantrum-throwing variety.
There’s a fine line between a woman who wants the perfect day (nothing wrong with that), and the woman who takes an axe to her centerpieces because she didn’t like them. Since there’s some confusion, we’re responding only to points made in regard to women who want the perfect wedding. Not the entitled psychos who (we all agree) should be left at the alter.
Exhibit A. Why Bridezillas Obsess Over Weddings
We don’t want to look like this chick.
Photo from Tacky Weddings
If we didn’t care about our weddings, if we didn’t obsess over every detail, there’s a good chance the whole thing would crumble like the Roman Empire. It’s true that no one cares more than the bride. So yes, we want a dress that makes us look beautiful and we’ll try on hundreds to get it. And we obsess over the tiny details because we want it to be a good time for us and our guests.
Who cares? There’s no reason to take personal offense to it, as if brides everywhere were killing toddlers or mugging grandmothers. It’s their soiree and money to spend. Weddings stimulate the economy. If a bride wants the big party, let her have it.
Exhibit B. A Save the Date Card Isn’t a Court Order
If you think weddings are a chore, stay at home
This is an example of what the bridezilla hater called “hyping weddings way too long.” Looks by the preview like this wedding will be a rockin’ good time. And Save the Date cards aren’t to made to hype the wedding, they’re courtesy.
There’s dancing, cake smashing, an open bar, and sometimes at bridezilla weddings, a brawl that ends in a tasering. What else do you have going on? Grow a pair and R.S.V.P “No” if you don’t want to go — a Save the Date card isn’t a court order. No one likes a wedding wet blanket (the guy sitting in the corner, eying the bridesmaids and going on about how much he hates weddings). We’d rather you not come if our wedding is a chore.
Don’t get a gift. Don’t celebrate the couple’s happiness and don’t wonder where all your friends are when your bride finally arrives…in the mail.
It’s a party. Have fun.
Exhibit C. Excitement Isn’t Contagious
So shut the f*#k up about your own life
A wedding celebrates the commitment of a lifetime together. We agree that it’s not as exciting to everyone else — how could it be? But neither is your baby, your promotion, your new BMW, your gold count in W.O.W… nothing in your life is as exciting to everyone else as it is to you.
We’re forced to see baby pictures and muster a smile when someone shows a video of their kid who (o.m.g.) just mastered the art of crawling. Excitement may not be contagious, but you can fake it for the happy couple just like your girlfriends faked their orgasms.
If you can’t do that, maybe you’re the one with a problem. I can think of many worse offenses than being excited and talking about your own wedding. If she blabs on and on (it happens) just change the subject. And if bridezillaS, the TV show whips you into a letter-writing frenzy, change the channel. It wouldn’t be on air if it didn’t have an audience.
“50 percent of marriages end in divorce…think about whether or not your family would be equally excited to shell out 30K or more for you to wager on a coin flip”
Your favorite football team has a 50 percent chance of losing the big game. But fans still go out, cheer for them, and some even wager on them. Hope for the best and wish the couple well. It might not be a special day to the whole world, but it is a very special day for the bride and groom.