Tom Cruise wins Coveted “Bridezilla of all Time” Title

Posted by on 12 Apr, 2007

Short Man Syndrome rears its head, wedding style! When it comes to bridezilla behavior unleashed, no one can compete with Tiny Tom Cruise, our Bridezilla of All Time!

No small achievement, the Bridezilla of All Time award goes only to the most obsessive, the most overbearing, the most controlling ‘Zilla you could imagine, and that description fits Tom Cruise to a (hee hee) T. From insisting she change her name from sweet, girlish Katie to Kate, to allegedly digging a hole for his bride to stand in so they’d be the same height in their wedding photos, Cruise has reached levels of Bridezilla behavior that average Bridezillas like us can hardly even fathom. Short guys may try harder, but Tom Cruise is proof that’s not always a good thing!


From his pre-wedding couch-jumping shenanigans with Oprah (the average Bridezilla frowns on furniture footprints) to his too-picture-perfect Eiffel Tower marriage proposal (uggh, so postcard), Cruise takes the platinum ring in every category.

A prime example of a Bridezilla gone overboard, Tom’s control issues made themselves obvious from the first date to now, with the most disturbing of Bridezilla behaviors in between. Read on about the cringe-worthy courtship of TomKat, notably one of the most unfortunate portmanteaus of all time.

Of course, nothing says “you complete me” like starting your courtship with a contract! Combining last names we understand, but first names too? Let a girl keep some autonomy – or at least let her come first in the name for once (we’re looking at you too, Brangelina)! The sixteen year age difference raised enough eyebrows, and allegations ensued that Katie had been chosen from passel of young starlet potential Mrs. Cruises and locked into a five year contract guaranteeing she’d be with Tom for five years and give him one child. Admit it, Bridezillas – picking your beau from a line of virile, willing specimens of boycandy isn’t such an unattractive thought, but in theory, not in practice!

After steamrolling Katie’s dreams of a small Catholic wedding in her hometown of Toledo, Ohio in favor of a Scientology ceremony in an Italian castle (okay, we’ll grant him the superiority of the location), Tom took control of everything from the guestlist (not inviting Oprah? bad karma dude…) to the couture (Armani for all), Tom’s obsessive-compulsive touch was on every aspect of this ostentatious affair.

Tom even fell victim to one thing most Bridezillas are strong enough to resist – stress-eating! Rumor has it that Giorgio Armani was furious at Tom’s weight gain of nearly twenty pounds in the few months before the wedding. Alterations had to be made to Tom’s tux, and he even had to wear a girdle to thin out his midsection so his jacket would fit correctly! Unimpressed, Tom – any Bridezilla worth her cocktail salt knows it’s the man’s duty just as much as the woman’s to be svelte for the wedding day.

And that right there is Tommy’s trouble – usurping the role of Bridezilla that was rightfully Katie’s and taking it for himself! Not only did he take over the wedding plans, he took over Katie herself. Creepy!

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  1. On 17 Apr, 2007, Chris said:

    Those models are going to give me nightmares.

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