You Might Be a Bridezilla If… (Part Two)

Posted by on 18 Mar, 2009

21 Signs You’re a Bridezilla

mad bride.png1.) You got your wedding gown before the engagement ring. And it came from Milan.
2.) You imported rare tropical flowers from Fiji for your bouquet. You told everyone it’s because you love the way they look. Secretly, you wanted to make sure no one but a far-away Fijian could get the same wedding flowers.
3.) You whine the bridezilla mantra: “it’s my day,” to anyone who will listen. Even your chihuahua, Princess Cuteness turns away when you say it.
4.) Everything from your wedding cake to your fingernails is jewel-encrusted.
5.) You can’t say “VFW Hall” without snickering.
6.) You were banned from having your wedding in a church because you suggested they replace a sacred statue with a life-size portrait of you.
7.) You’ve had 17 hair and make-up run-throughs (and counting). You text your stylist pictures of updos everyday. She has ceased taking your texts.
8.) You fired at least one wedding planner because of negligence. Who doesn’t accept calls at 4:00 a.m.?
9.) You held an open casting call for “rosy-cheeked flower girls with prior wedding experience.” Your sniffling niece with the underbite just won’t do.
10.) You’re on your second Maid of Honor. The first one mysteriously vanished after she refused to get John Mayer to “perform” at your bachelorette party.
11.) Your cake costs more than your mortgage.
12.) Your cake weighs more than you do.
13.) Your cake is an exact replica of yourself.
14.) When someone asks, “What does the groom-to-be want?” you chuckle.
15.) You replaced the size-12 tag in your gown with a size 6.
16.) You demand that the photographer only snap pictures of your good side. When he asks “What side is that?” you smash his camera.
17.) Your veil is hand-spun from real angel hair.
18.) Your getaway vehicle is a unicorn.
19.) You were escorted out of Macy’s because you refused to put down the registry scan gun.
20.) Like the Great Wall of China, your wedding is visible from space.
21.) You read this blog religiously!
Keep it going. Comment below with your own “You Might Be a Bridezilla….”

Leave a Comment

  1. On 19 Mar, 2009, Betsy said:

    Ok, #5 made ME snicker a lot.

    Reply to this comment
  2. On 08 Sep, 2009, Debra said:

    You might be a bridezilla if,
    *you want it to snow outside, even thou it’s july.
    *you make your bridesmaids dye their hair so everyone matches.
    *you expect a stipper to be at you bachlorette party, but if the groom even looks at another girl at the bachelor party, the wedding is off.
    *you want your princess, Pom-pom, in the wedding. Who cares that your husband-to-be, and half his family, is allergic to her?
    *you blew-up at you whee-chair-bound grandmother because she bought a dress that DOES NOT go with your wedding colors.
    *you yelled at the pastor because he has trouble saying your name right. I don’t care if you do have a speech impediment.
    *the book of all your wedding ideas is bigger than you area’s phone book.
    *you actually picked the groom on how well your name sounded with his last name.
    What do you think? A little too dramatic.

    Reply to this comment