Posted by Bridezilla on 18 Mar, 2009
21 Signs You’re a Bridezilla
1.) You got your wedding gown before the engagement ring. And it came from Milan.
2.) You imported rare tropical flowers from Fiji for your bouquet. You told everyone it’s because you love the way they look. Secretly, you wanted to make sure no one but a far-away Fijian could get the same wedding flowers.
3.) You whine the bridezilla mantra: “it’s my day,” to anyone who will listen. Even your chihuahua, Princess Cuteness turns away when you say it.
4.) Everything from your wedding cake to your fingernails is jewel-encrusted.
5.) You can’t say “VFW Hall” without snickering.
6.) You were banned from having your wedding in a church because you suggested they replace a sacred statue with a life-size portrait of you.
7.) You’ve had 17 hair and make-up run-throughs (and counting). You text your stylist pictures of updos everyday. She has ceased taking your texts.
8.) You fired at least one wedding planner because of negligence. Who doesn’t accept calls at 4:00 a.m.?
9.) You held an open casting call for “rosy-cheeked flower girls with prior wedding experience.” Your sniffling niece with the underbite just won’t do.
10.) You’re on your second Maid of Honor. The first one mysteriously vanished after she refused to get John Mayer to “perform” at your bachelorette party.
11.) Your cake costs more than your mortgage.
12.) Your cake weighs more than you do.
13.) Your cake is an exact replica of yourself.
14.) When someone asks, “What does the groom-to-be want?” you chuckle.
15.) You replaced the size-12 tag in your gown with a size 6.
16.) You demand that the photographer only snap pictures of your good side. When he asks “What side is that?” you smash his camera.
17.) Your veil is hand-spun from real angel hair.
18.) Your getaway vehicle is a unicorn.
19.) You were escorted out of Macy’s because you refused to put down the registry scan gun.
20.) Like the Great Wall of China, your wedding is visible from space.
21.) You read this blog religiously!
Keep it going. Comment below with your own “You Might Be a Bridezilla….”