Bridezilla Finishing School: How to Speak Chic French

Bridezilla

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Today Bridezilla is beaming to unveil our brand new feature “The Bridezilla Finishing School.” We recognize all bridezillas aren’t born with a diamond ring on their diapers, but we do believe every bridezilla can become a well-bred, elegant woman with decent training and discipline (*raps ruler*). Don’t let a little caste system stand in your way to becoming a bridezilla of noble breeding! Rather, enjoy our crash course in all things haute couture!

On that note, first thing’s first: Essential French phrases to make you look like the Bon Vivant Bridezillas that you are, even if you’ve never left Tuscaloosa!


Apres-ski-After skiing,”used to apply to social events, like the opposite of pre-funk.
BZ example: Bridezilla credits her legendary hot buttered rum recipe for the avalanche of apres ski soiree invites she receives every time she’s in Aspen.

Aperitif– cocktail
BZ example:If you buy Bridezilla an aperitif, she might give you an eskimo kiss.

Bete noir– the black beast, a pet peeve.
BZ example: Social climbing wedding crashers are Bridezilla’s bete noir.

Bon Vivant– A good “live-er” someone who lives well and knows how to enjoy life, a Bridezilla.
BZ example: From her exquisite taste in stilettos to her smashing page six bashes, Bridezilla is a Bon Vivant of the highest degree.

Chef d’oeuvre-Chief work, Masterpiece.
BZ Example: The Chantilly lace seven-foot train was the chef d’ouevre of Bridezilla’s wedding dress.

Comme il faut– as it should be, the proper way
BZ example:The guests in black tie were given black linen napkins at the reception, as is comme il faut.

Décolletage– lowered neckline
BZ example: The chic Bridezilla knows a lowered gaze is often more effective than displayed decolletage.

Gauche-awkward, tactless, lacking social grace
BZ Example:Thanks to the Bridezilla Finishing school, you’ll never get yourself in a gauche situation again!

Haute couture-“High Sewing” hand-tailored, not mass-produced
BZ example: Bridezilla knew off-the-rack wedding gowns were the reason God invented haute couture.

Objet d’art-a piece of art, an artistic statement
* remember never to pronounce with a “c”, that would be gauche ­čśë
BZ example: Bridezilla could never date someone who viewed blown glass as an objet d’art.

Sang-froid cold blood, the ability to maintain one’s composure.
BZ example: From silent auctions to quibbles with the MIL-zilla, Bridezilla’s steely sang-froid brought her everything she wanted.

savoir-faire– Having a knack for doing the graceful thing in every situation.
BZ example: Bridezillas know even the tackiest person can spend billions on a wedding, but savoir faire cannot be bought.

Soigne– polished, well taken care of
BZ example: Some would call Bridezilla’s groom henpecked; she would like to think he’s just soigne.

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