10 Interesting (Read: Ugly) Engagement Rings

Posted by on 06 Apr, 2012

engagement

You know what wrecks a perfectly good proposal?  A crap ring.  Instead of thinking, “wow, my life’s gonna be great!  I’m gonna be with this man for the rest of my life!” she’s thinking “wow, I’m gonna have to wear that garish piece of tacky for The Rest. Of. My. Life…”  Some ladies will suffer in silence for decades.  And others?  Well, the guy better pray she doesn’t have a good throwing arm.

Below are 10 of the ugliest rings I could find on the interwebs.  Ladies, my apologies if you own one of these… er, gems.  Fellas, be forewarned…

DISCLAIMER:  Beauty is subjective.  Obviously, you can disagree with my valuations (hello Comments section below!)  But I’m pretty sure I’m right.

1.     The Cluster

Cluster Engagement Ring

This gem (or multiple gems, rather) was discovered on a website running an ugly engagement ring contest.  Apparently the lady who submitted the picture agreed: “Thank GOD I never married him.”

2.     The Nail

Nail Engagement Ring

Well, it’s certainly economical.  But tip for the gentlemen: Most chicks don’t dig rings found in the hardware aisle of Home Depot.

3.     The Heart

I Heart You Engagement RingMaybe this isn’t terrible… If you got it from Monica, your bestest friend in the whole wide world, who totally, like, loves hearts.

4.     Ring around the Vampire

Vampire Ring

Nothing says “eternity” like Dracula fangs spitting out a diamond.  (Irrelevant aside: Do all vampires have straight teeth?)

5.     Oui?  Non.

Oui Engagement RingFirst off, this is AMERICA.  Speak American, dammit!  OK, jingoism has nothing to do with the horror that is this ring.  Between the gold cursive and the nanojewel, I deny this ring a green card.

6.     Skin in the Game

Skin Engagement Ring

I have nothing to say about this.  Wait.  Yes I do.  EWWWWWWWW.

7.     Holding on Too Tight

Hands Heart Engagement RingHe approaches, heart in hand, and asks you to make him the happiest man on earth… You consider, until you realize he took the heart / hands part literally.  Rings go on fingers; they shouldn’t HAVE fingers.

 

8.     Infectious

Ugly diamond engagement ring

Hot tank top?  $15.  Skinny Jeans?  $90.  A ring that looks like it has a rash?  Priceless.

9.     Jersey Sore

Jersey Sore Engagement Ring

It’s like the bedazzled version of this.

10.Permanent Marker

Tattoo Engagement Ring

Diamonds better be this girl’s best friend.

Am I a terrible, judgmental person with an outhouse where my heart should be?  Let me know!

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  1. On 10 Jan, 2013, Samantha said:

    The oui one is pretty. it isn’t really an engagement ring. We speak in English but it is romantic if there was an inside joke in the French language.

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