You know what wrecks a perfectly good proposal? A crap ring. Instead of thinking, “Wow, my life’s gonna be great! I’m gonna be with this man for the rest of my life!” she’s thinking “Wow, I’m gonna have to wear that garish piece of tacky for The Rest. Of. My. Life…” Some ladies will suffer in silence for decades. And others? Well, the guy better pray she doesn’t have a good throwing arm.
Below are 10 of the ugliest rings I could find on the interwebs. Ladies, my apologies if you own one of these… er, gems. Fellas, be forewarned…
DISCLAIMER: Beauty is subjective. Obviously, you can disagree with my valuations (hello Comments section below!) But I’m pretty sure I’m right 🙂
1. The Cluster
This gem (or multiple gems, rather) was discovered on a website running an ugly engagement ring contest. Apparently the lady who submitted the picture agreed: “Thank GOD I never married him.”
2. The Nail
Well, it’s certainly economical. But tip for the gentlemen: Most chicks don’t dig rings found in the hardware aisle of Home Depot.
3. The Heart
Maybe this isn’t terrible… If you got it from Monica, your bestest friend in the whole wide world, who totally, like, loves hearts.
4. Ring around the Vampire
Nothing says “eternity” like Dracula fangs spitting out a diamond. (Irrelevant aside: Do all vampires have straight teeth?). This reminds me of something you’d buy at FrightFind.
5. Oui? Non.
Truthfully, the French language is very romantic, but between the gold cursive and the nanojewel, I deny this ring.
6. Skin in the Game
I have nothing to say about this. Wait. Yes I do. The paaaaaaaaaaaain.
7. Holding on Too Tight
He approaches, heart in hand, and asks you to make him the happiest man on earth… You consider until you realize he took the heart/hands part literally. Rings go on fingers; they shouldn’t HAVE fingers.
8. Infectious
Hot tank top? $15. Skinny Jeans? $90. A ring that looks like it has a rash? Priceless.
9. Jersey Sore
It’s like the bedazzled version of this.
10.Permanent Marker
Diamonds better be this girl’s best friend.
Am I a terrible, judgmental person with an outhouse where my heart should be? Probably. In the end, the ring should match the personality. If tattoos are a couple’s thing, then there you have it. Each of these rings is a bit risky in my opinion. You want to wow that girl.
The oui one is pretty. it isn’t really an engagement ring. We speak in English but it is romantic if there was an inside joke in the French language.
Of all of these, I’d actually wear the nail instead of any of the others. At least, it’s simple and not gaudy or ridiculous…