6 Things Not to Do at a Wedding

Posted by on 27 Aug, 2012

Wedding ceremony chairs

No matter how many articles are written on wedding etiquette, there will always be the drunk uncle.  He’s a lost cause.  For the rest of us, however, there are a few situations we can easily avoid to ensure weddings are pleasant experiences for all.

Below are 6 things not to do at a wedding.  This is hardly an exhaustive list; if you have a question about the suitability of a comment or action, err on the side of DON’T DO IT.

Don’t drink too much

“Too much,” of course, is a matter of opinion, but if you’re crying vodka and the floor seems to be breathing, it may be time to switch to the 7UP.

Check out our post on wedding catastrophes, and in particular Sandra Bullock in “28 Days,” for further proof.

Don’t look better than the bride

Don’t show up in holey jeans and a tube top, either, but keep in mind whose day this is.

Don’t tell the groom you’ve always had a huge crush

This is part B of “Don’t drink too much” – I’m sure he’s very flattered, but there’s certainly a better time to confess your undying love.  And by “better time,” I mean never.

Don’t laugh when the official asks “If anyone knows of any just cause…”

Sure, you know about that weekend in Tijuana (and the ensuing regimen of penicillin) but keep a lid on the cackling.

Don’t cite divorce statistics

We all know 1 out of 2 marriages end in divorce.  Well, no one thinks they’re the 1s.  And don’t ask about a prenup…

Don’t say any of the following:

  • “Wow.  I never thought I’d see you guys up there…”
  • “So that’s the dress you went with—“
  • “Didn’t someone tell the pastor not to wear cut-off shorts?”
  • (Patting your pockets) “Did you give me the ring yet?”
  • “Don’t worry.  It only happened that one time.  And we were drunk.”
  • “And the blood test was NEGATIVE?”
  • “Your hair? …Yeah.  It’s… interesting.”

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