The 8 Worst Proposals, Ever

Posted by on 30 Nov, 2009

‘Tis the season for proposals. The love of your life on bended knee under glittering snowfall and twinkling Christmas lights. You unwrap a special gift under mistletoe and say “yes” with a kiss, tears streaming down your face.
Please be aware: Proposals rarely live up to the romantic expectations fed to us by diamond advertisements. But few can be this bad. From the guy who fumbled the bauble on the Brooklyn Bridge to a proposal tattoo (say it in permanent ink!) to a staged police raid, these bad proposals will make your guy’s casual prenup proposal (will you marry me? sign below) look like a love sonnet.

Bridezilla Presents 8 Proposals to Say No To

1. Police Raid Proposal

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Want to bag a wife? All you have to do is stage a police raid. Jon S. Cardin, a State Delegate from Baltimore decided to propose to his girlfriend on a boat. Instead of a classic yacht and sunset proposal, he staged a heart-racing police raid. He wrangled a few police officers and helicopter units to pretend to ransack his boat and pull out a ring. In crime-ridden Baltimore. With taxpayer’s money. This police-raid proposal ticked everyone off but her. She said yes!

2. Love is in the Air

Hajji, of Hackney, east London wanted to give his girlfriend the ultimate proposal. He tied an expensive ring in a helium balloon. You can probably guess what happened next. A gust of wind whisked away the balloon and the affection of his girlfriend, who demanded another ring.

3. Rejected in Front of Thousands

This is why you don’t do the sports proposal. First, there’s absolutely nothing romantic about screaming fans, beer bellies, sweat, and spit (unless you’re in the bedroom). This poor sap is rejected in front of an entire crowd. Court-side ticket holders could see tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Listen to the announcers as they give the proposal fail play-by-play. Ouch.

4. Proposal in Permanent Ink

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Somewhere there’s a Caroline Summers with a “no” tattooed on her back.

5. Bride Slurps Up Ring

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Here’s a tip for when you’re brainstorming proposal ideas. Don’t hide the ring in food (not even chocolate) and then challenge your lady to inhale said food in a binge-eating contest. It’s about as romantic as doing beer-bongs with your buddies. This milkshake proposal led to a swoon-worthy post-proposal trip to the emergency room (ooh, the fluorescent lights, the sniffling children, the gunshot victims). Congratulations you’re an idiot on your proposal.

6. Man Fumbles Bauble

This could have been the biggest proposal fail of all time. Don Walling planned to propose on the Brooklyn Bridge, at sunset. And then he fumbled the bauble, which bounced out of his hands, slipped through a crack and fell into traffic directly below. BUT….he shimmied down a 60-foot vertical wall in a super-hero-like maneuver and rescued the ring. Don Walling, would you marry bridezilla?

7. Felony Proposal

Many women have what’s known as “bad boy syndrome.” And it’s tempting for guys to want to act like a ‘bad boy’ to win our affection. But we’re attracted to leather-jacket-clad-motorcycle-riding bad boys, not that loser who got arrested. Maybe it’s just us, but practical jokes like this staged detainment should be reserved for April Fool’s Day, not proposals.

8. Bride Swept Away – Literally

This is the worst proposal of all time. Instead of being swept off her feet, she was swept out to sea. We’re guessing it’s a no.

Leave a Comment

  1. On 03 Dec, 2009, kitchen table said:

    I hear about the bride that was swept away. I don’t know if I would laugh or be saddened about it. It must be very painful for the groom. A lesson learned, make it simple. It is never the place or way that counts, it is love.

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  2. On 11 Dec, 2009, Bryan@Wedding invitations said:

    Hey i agree with all the proposals but the last one is very uncertain types.Not getting your body marked with some permanent ink makes anyone fall in love with you…For that you have to prove yourself i guess!!!

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  3. On 14 Dec, 2009, stela said:

    It is called love. She must be accepted this sweet proposal…she don’t dare to heart him or refuse such a lovely proposal…

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  4. On 02 Jan, 2010, someone said:

    I’m sorry, I just don’t believe him. She was swept away with both arms reaching back to him? You can’t control your arms in a rip tide. Why was he proposing when they had already bought a dress and set a date? I’m inclined to believe that this mail-order bride tried to back out at the last minute and he decided that if he can’t have her, nobody can.

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  5. On 19 Jun, 2011, Falcon said:

    RE: Balloon Proposal – 100% fake –

    For starters, there aren’t any palm trees in Hackney, let alone London – and not a single soul in that video has a Brit Accent… and, all the cars are driving on the right side of the road… 100% American made – FL or Cali I’d suspect. Now, the UK article they reference, may have been the inspiration – since Haajji says this is the park they first met in – yet the article says:

    “But as he left the shop, a gust of wind pulled the balloon from his hand and he watched the ring — and quite possibly the affections of his girlfriend — sailing away over the rooftops.”

    Hmmmm thanks for wasting our time…

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