Posted by Bridezilla on 30 Nov, 2009
‘Tis the season for proposals. The love of your life on bended knee under glittering snowfall and twinkling Christmas lights. You unwrap a special gift under mistletoe and say “yes” with a kiss, tears streaming down your face.
Please be aware: Proposals rarely live up to the romantic expectations fed to us by diamond advertisements. But few can be this bad. From the guy who fumbled the bauble on the Brooklyn Bridge to a proposal tattoo (say it in permanent ink!) to a staged police raid, these bad proposals will make your guy’s casual prenup proposal (will you marry me? sign below) look like a love sonnet.
Bridezilla Presents 8 Proposals to Say No To
1. Police Raid Proposal
Want to bag a wife? All you have to do is stage a police raid. Jon S. Cardin, a State Delegate from Baltimore decided to propose to his girlfriend on a boat. Instead of a classic yacht and sunset proposal, he staged a heart-racing police raid. He wrangled a few police officers and helicopter units to pretend to ransack his boat and pull out a ring. In crime-ridden Baltimore. With taxpayer’s money. This police-raid proposal ticked everyone off but her. She said yes!
2. Love is in the Air
Hajji, of Hackney, east London wanted to give his girlfriend the ultimate proposal. He tied an expensive ring in a helium balloon. You can probably guess what happened next. A gust of wind whisked away the balloon and the affection of his girlfriend, who demanded another ring.
3. Rejected in Front of Thousands
This is why you don’t do the sports proposal. First, there’s absolutely nothing romantic about screaming fans, beer bellies, sweat, and spit (unless you’re in the bedroom). This poor sap is rejected in front of an entire crowd. Court-side ticket holders could see tears forming in the corners of his eyes. Listen to the announcers as they give the proposal fail play-by-play. Ouch.
4. Proposal in Permanent Ink
Somewhere there’s a Caroline Summers with a “no” tattooed on her back.
5. Bride Slurps Up Ring
Here’s a tip for when you’re brainstorming proposal ideas. Don’t hide the ring in food (not even chocolate) and then challenge your lady to inhale said food in a binge-eating contest. It’s about as romantic as doing beer-bongs with your buddies. This milkshake proposal led to a swoon-worthy post-proposal trip to the emergency room (ooh, the fluorescent lights, the sniffling children, the gunshot victims). Congratulations
you’re an idiot on your proposal.
6. Man Fumbles Bauble
This could have been the biggest proposal fail of all time. Don Walling planned to propose on the Brooklyn Bridge, at sunset. And then he fumbled the bauble, which bounced out of his hands, slipped through a crack and fell into traffic directly below. BUT….he shimmied down a 60-foot vertical wall in a super-hero-like maneuver and rescued the ring. Don Walling, would you marry bridezilla?
7. Felony Proposal
Many women have what’s known as “bad boy syndrome.” And it’s tempting for guys to want to act like a ‘bad boy’ to win our affection. But we’re attracted to leather-jacket-clad-motorcycle-riding bad boys, not that loser who got arrested. Maybe it’s just us, but practical jokes like this staged detainment should be reserved for April Fool’s Day, not proposals.
8. Bride Swept Away – Literally
This is the worst proposal of all time. Instead of being swept off her feet, she was swept out to sea. We’re guessing it’s a no.