How to Write a Brilliant Bridezilla Wedding Thank-You Note


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First of all, we fully realize that in this online age, few things frighten Bridezilla quite like the uncanny sight of seeing her own handwriting-it’s almost as creepy as hearing a home phone ring! But nevertheless, handwritten thank-you cards are one of the last strongholds of old-world wedding civility remaining in our little cyber lives, and as such must be upheld.
Why? Because there are two kinds of brides in this world: classy bridezillas who write warm, witty and heartfelt wedding thank-yous, and those trashy cash-bar having, Clariol brides who can’t be bothered. Well let it be known Bridezilla has wasted too much perfectly good Mac Lipglass crossing the latter off her Christmas, Hannukah, and Kwanzaa (hey we love parties, ok?) invitation lists, and we’ll have no more of it! Thus, after the jump, please enjoy our swift guide to writing brilliant Bridezilla wedding thank-you cards.

1 Create a thank-you writing salon.

Bridezillas are all about ambiance (we are actually clinically allergic to bad ambiance and will break out), so before you begin this time-consuming task of thanking every lucky soul who attended your 250 person nuptial rager, make sure to set up a fabulous atmosphere. Big beaded throw pillows, sexy mood lighting, signature stamps and ample fabulous cardstock all help invoke the thank-you writing muses.Turban, totally optional. Bridezilla Bonus Tips: Definitely get the self-sticking stamps, or at least a teeny squeegie with which to administer postages. Remember, Bridezillas don’t lick stamps, not on this blog’s watch.

2 It’s not me,it’s you.

The cardinal rule of thank-you card writing-and the hardest for Bridezilla to follow-is not beginning the thank-you card with an “I” statement, or using this offensive article too much throughout the text. Always make sure the “you” statements in the card outnumber the amount of “i” statements, and you will make your guestzilla feel special and appreciated. (ie. Rather than “I absolutely loved…” go with “How thoughtful are you? Loved it!”)

3 No pre-printing please.

Even though you might think picking out a nice pre-printed card is perfectly standard, the wedding thank-you card is the exception to such Fresh Ink fare. Picking out a thank-you themed card is fine, but make sure there is plenty of blank space inside for a handwritten personal message and that you fill it accordingly. This is one instance where Hallmark definitely cannot say it for you.

4 Keep it short and chic.

While it is important not to cut corners on writing wedding thank-yous, be advised that short and sincere is better than long and pedantic. The Brilliant Bridezilla Thank You Note Elements are as follows
A) A mention of the specific gift.
B) What you will use it for.
C) Where applicable, how you and the giver can use it together.

“Thank you so much for the stunning Williams Sonoma Fondue Set. I can see many more chocolate strawberries in my future thanks to your thoughtfulness. You have to promise to come over soon and help me christen it! I’ll bring the Brie.”

5 Timing is everything.

No matter how well-written, a late thank-you note is a bad thank-you note, and very poor taste indeed! In fact, Bridezilla Statistics show that for each week a guest goes without a gift thank-you note, their heart hardens towards you 20%. This correlates to 20% less affection, 20% less reciprocal invitations, and-gasp! 20% less gifts given over time. So, the rule is no more than ten days for wedding shower gift thank-yous, and no more than two weeks post-honeymoon for wedding thank-you cards. Bridezilla Bonus Tip: The Bridezilla 20% Stat also works in the reciprocal. The sooner a guest gets a thank-you note, the more pleased and surprised they will feel, and this will reflect in future special occasion relations. Bottom line, timeliness is more important than perfection.

Bridezilla Bonus Tip: No combo cards please!

This is a Brilliant Bridezilla thank you card, not a Mcdonalds meal, so each thank-you note must be delivered a la carte. If someone was thoughtful enough to send you three gifts, three thank-you cards must ensue. The exception to the combo card rule is if you receive a combined gift from over ten people, such as co-workers or a church congregation. In this case a communal card posted on a bulletin board or somewhere visible is acceptable, but try and thank each person verbally if possible. Under ten though, and individual cards remain the way to go.
That’s it Bridezilla! Go forth and thank-you! And by all means, get your Groomzilla to help!

1 thought on “How to Write a Brilliant Bridezilla Wedding Thank-You Note”

  1. It’s funny how a thank you note (or lack there of) can seal your reputation with the older generation. My grandmother still grumbles about not getting a thank you note from a family bride over 5 years ago, and she isn’t the type to grumble about anything. She also praises girls who have remembered to send notes. Believe me when I tell you that she weighs this when considering how much to spend when the baby showers come around.


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